#but a huge part of why that happened wasn’t some aesthetic commitment to the music

[waugh-bao]

I can’t say Live By The Sword is going on my favorites list but it was sure nice to hear the snap of that snare starting off. So crisp. I was smiling while listening to it and imagining Charlie play it, but sad at the same time.

Maybe I’m being over dramatic, but I honestly never want to listen to this album again. It makes me viscerally angry that they threw away more than a decade of Charlie’s work, the last of everything he produced as a musician, to put out this piece of soulless, corporate rock trash.

For my money, “Live By The Sword” has one redeeming attribute, and that’s that they only kind of mutilated his drum sound on it (there’s still a bit of cymbal splash and snare), rather than completely destroyed it. As happened on the aptly named “Mess It Up.”

All I got from this experience is that this band has outlived its reason for existence as a creative endeavor.

[nano--raptor]

Taming the Soul - Chapter 1: The Library

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky can’t sleep, but neither can you. You decide to talk a walk to your favorite spot and make a surprising discovery.

Words: 1320

Warnings: Recovery!Bucky, slight angst, talk of nightmares, cursing, talk of missions, etc. 

A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of my new series! This will probably be slow going, but I will try to update as often as I can. The library in this chapter is inspired by the Yue Library, elements from this library are what I’ve imagined and tried to describe here. Thank you to all who show interest, and for reading, I really hope you enjoy! ❤

* * * *

Bucky first discovered the library one night when he couldn't sleep. He’d tried all the usual tricks: reading, watching tv, exercise, a snack. Nothing worked. He’d finally gone for a walk, and that had actually helped. A little. After that, Bucky started going for walks more regularly around the compound when he couldn’t sleep, trying to tire out his body and mind. Or at least distract it so he could get some goddamn rest. It became something he sort of looked forward to. Sometimes he’d walk around inside, down the hallways, around the track at the gym, sometimes he’d go outside and enjoy the fresh air and stillness that came with the middle of the night.

It was during one of these late night walks that he’d discovered the library. Of course, the compound had a library - Tony spared no expense it seemed - but it was probably due to the fact that he’d never heard anyone talk about it that Bucky was surprised to find that it existed. It was big, more spacious than he’d anticipated, two stories tall with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that served as walls. Lamps were scattered throughout the library, some of which remained on, and moonlight coming in through the huge windows basked the space with a calm glow. Even though it was the middle of the night, Bucky could see that there was a lot of natural-toned wood, which actually made him feel... comfortable? It was a pleasant change from the rest of the concrete surfaces of the compound. Other features of the library were more modern - glass and metal - but Bucky felt an overall sense of calm as he wandered around. It was nice.

He was thankful he’d been able to stay at the compound, after everything that had happened, Steve and the others were determined to help him regain some sense of normalcy. Call it healing or recovery or whatever you want, it was a lot nicer and more calm out here than the tower in New York had been. Being out of the city had been good for Bucky’s mind and his soul.

Bucky saw the way everyone hushed up when he walked by, and he knew they meant well but it made him feel weird. He’d started staying away from the common areas during the day, which is maybe why he could never sleep at night. Exhaustion, nightmares, faded memories that would start to play out in his mind and then stop like a worn out movie. It all kept him awake at night. He would like to integrate back into society, start being social with the rest of the team, seeing as he’d probably have to head out on missions with them eventually. The thought made him cringe. Bucky didn’t really play well with others.

For now, Bucky was glad they more or less left him alone. He knew he had a lot to work through, and it was frustrating, because for the most part he felt alright. He knew what was going on, but there was still a part of his mind that felt out of control, and if he got stuck there, there wasn’t anything he could do to pull himself out. It felt like a trap, and nothing was worse than being a prisoner of your own mind and body.

Bucky found a bench by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows and curled up as best he could in the corner of it, pulling his knees towards his chest. He glared out the window, and then forced himself to take a slow, deep breath, trying to push the dark thoughts from his mind. At least this window had a nice view of the grounds behind the compound. Rolling grass hills and trees. The moonlight spilled over him and as he looked up at it, he thought about all the horrors that the moon had seen people on Earth commit. All the horrors he’d committed. Bucky sighed and leaned his head back against the wall behind him, suddenly feeling tired and small. He let his eyes fall closed, finally drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * 

You’d tossed and turned for over an hour and finally decided it was time for a change of scenery. You didn’t usually have a hard time sleeping, but it wasn’t foreign to you either. There were often issues that weighed heavy on your mind, and some nights it took intention to relax and fall asleep.

One place you liked to visit at night was the library. You liked it during the day too, but it had a peaceful calm and stillness at night that you loved when sleep eluded you. You loved to curl up on the couches or armchairs, sometimes with a book, sometimes without, and just enjoy the change of scenery. Even the walk down to the library, through the compound, helped to clear your head a bit. The compound was like a different world at night, when everything was quiet and still. Soft darkness falling over everything, a sort of peaceful calm. Especially when nothing too intense was happening around you mission-wise.

You walked into the library, your feet padding quietly over the tile floor. Your favorite spot to sit was on the mezzanine level, close to one of the large windows looking over the grounds. You climbed the grand staircase slowly, taking in the well-designed space. The place alone gave you a sense of calm, every material and design element chosen with intention. Finding your spot amongst the cushions on one of the modern-style sofas, you leaned back and gazed out the window. Your mind drifted away almost as soon as you sat down, eyes roaming over the grounds, the treeline, the sky, watching the stars twinkle above and the moonlight beam down.

It took a while to register the sound that had started floating around, gently caressing your ears. After a few moments you realized it was piano music, and a chill ran through you, despite the calming melody. The library had been silent when you got here, hadn’t it? You’d thought you were alone! Was there someone else here with you? You couldn’t think of anyone else on the compound that could play, but it sounded too clear to be a recording. Who else was awake at this hour? You stopped yourself for a moment at that thought, as it could be anyone on the team really. You all had your own personal demons to deal with and you were sure you weren’t the only one who sometimes had trouble sleeping.

But, who the hell could play piano? That was the real mystery.

You sat and listened for a little while longer, eventually recognizing the melody with a rush of nostalgia. It was a piece your aunt used to play when you were younger, and it drew you back to thoughts of your childhood, sitting on the sofa in awe while her fingers danced across the keys. Moonlight Sonata, a piece by Beethoven. 

Interesting choice, you thought, but you weren’t mad at all, the notes were extremely soothing and calming to you. Finally your curiosity got the better of you and you had to find out who was playing this beautiful music. You rose from the sofa and slowly, silently, made your way over to the mezzanine balcony, where you figured you’d be able to get a peek of the pianist. You didn’t want to startle whoever it was, and you liked both hearing the music and the peace of being alone right now, and not having to spend energy to socialize.

You passed several bookshelves, rounded the corner and approached the railing. The piano came into view and what you saw froze you in your tracks. Your eyes grew wide and you were pretty sure you stopped breathing for a moment. Playing the piano, being the last person you’d ever expect to be moved by music, much less know how to make it, was Bucky.

* * * *

Tags ❤  @moonybarnes @skkye @cristie24 @msmarvelwrites @L8nitereadingmaterial @sfreeborn @jobean12-blog @crushedbyhyperbole @mannatgalhotra @bubbabarnes @buckysthing @marvelgirl7 @ikaris-whore @aesthetical-bucky @littleredstarfish @godofplumsandthunder @winterboobear11 @stuckyinamoose @our-whitetulips-us @throwmyheartawayagain @jesslovesyouall @my-own-private-library​ @hawksmagnolia​ @peaceinourtime82​ @infinity-saga​ @kenzieam​ @sallycanwait68​ @hailmary-yramliah​  @ballyhoobarnes​ @earthworthies​  @tinymalscoffee​ @thefandomimagines​ @kianifan​ @dark-academics-and-florals​ @buckys-henley​ @wearemisunderstoodlove​ @mrsbarneswillseeyounow​ @palaiasaurus64​ @starlightcrystalline​ @thehumanistsdiary​ @addikted-2-dopamine​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @Mackevanstan80 @harrysthiccthighss​ @lady-pswrld​  @wiccanmetallicrose​ @buckysbunny​ @railmetom @fl0ating​  

Join my taglist here!

[monaedroid]

Janelle Monáe: Living Out Loud

For them.'s debut cover story, Lizzo and Janelle Monáe sit down to discuss coming out, freedom, and living and loving out loud.

April 12, 2019

When Janelle Monáe came out as queer in a Rolling Stone cover story last April, the revelation made headlines around the world. As one of the most prolific multi-hyphenate artists of a generation, her declaration carried immense weight, both for herself and for queer black women and LGBTQ+ people everywhere. The announcement was followed by the release of her most brilliant, vulnerable work to date: Dirty Computer, an album that was at its core about embracing the freedom one finds in self-exploration and discovery. Bold, unabashedly fluid anthems like “Pynk”, “Screwed,” and “Make Me Feel” further solidified Monáe as a leader for “free-ass motherfuckers” (as she delightfully referred to herself when coming out) everywhere, one who challenges social binaries and norms alike with grace and strength.

Always evolving sonically and aesthetically, today, Monáe is entering a new era of her genre-bending career. The constant, though, is her work, which remains centered in advocacy, agency, and empowerment, regardless of what form it takes. With reverence for the responsibility of an artist and activist, Monáe uses every platform she builds to amplify intersectional discourse about race, gender, and sexuality in new ways. She takes action in a way that makes everyone take notice.

Monáe’s ascent as an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community has tracked alongside her own journey towards personal enlightenment and fulfillment of purpose. It has come with an understanding of the paradox of visibility, and a reckoning with the fears and challenges that queer people, specifically queer people of color, face when living authentically. In taking center stage to speak out and perform against aggressive oppression, Monáe’s voice and vision for humanity help to define what it means to advance emancipation for all.

That’s just a sliver of why we chose Monáe to star in them.’s debut cover story, “Janelle Monáe: Living Out Loud.” It would only be right to have one free-ass motherfucker interview another for the occasion, which is why we recruited Lizzo, an inimitable musical force in her own right and an unerring LGBTQ+ ally, to speak with Monáe below. Both women are known for hits that make you dance while reaching for something deeper, and both share a commitment to uplifting marginalized communities, championing self-love and self-care, subverting social expectations, and speaking their truths through their work. In the wide-ranging conversation below, they touch on that common ground and more, speaking to the terrifying, liberating process of challenging the world’s preconceptions about you, what it really means to live freely in our world today, and loving and living out loud.

Lizzo: First of all, shout out to freedom, okay? Because when you first started talking about sexual fluidity in Rolling Stone, you made me feel like I could do whatever I wanna do and feel how I wanna feel. That’s freedom.

I think that there's so much freedom with sexuality in the world right now. And you are a huge part of that wave. Can you tell me about that journey?

Janelle Monáe: It's been a journey. For me, sexuality and sexual identity and fluidity is a journey. It's not a destination. I've discovered so much about myself over the years as I've evolved and grown and spent time with myself and loved ones. That's the exciting thing — always finding out new things about who you are. And that's what I love about life. It takes us on journeys that not even we ourselves sometimes are prepared for. You just adapt to where you are and how you've evolved as a free thinking person.

Absolutely. I was just talking about this the other day, about how fluidity can mean so many things. It's not just what you like in that moment. I've seen fluidity change with age. I've seen people come out in their sexual identity in their forties and fifties. Yet there's so much pressure on young people to choose an identity, when you're a teenager and your hormones are jumping off — it's like, "Choose an identity, choose a sexual orientation." It's like, "How?” When I like everything sometimes, and I like nothing sometimes.

Do you have any words for those who are struggling with their sexuality or coming out? At any age, but especially for young people.

Don't allow yourself to feel any pressure other than the pressure you put on you. And I think there's so much power in not labeling yourself. That said, there's also power in saying "This is how I identify,” and having community with the folks you identify with. Everyone is on a journey of self-discovery, and those of us who may not understand others’ journeys should be more empathetic and tolerant and supportive.

A big thing for me is just being patient with myself, and not allowing myself to make decisions based in fear, or a fear of people not understanding me. And it's hard. You go through experiences where you feel fearful, and you end up being depressed, or having anxiety, and not taking care of you. But that fear should not get in the way of how you love or who you love.

To be young, queer, and black in America means that you can be misunderstood. You can be hated. It also means that you can be celebrated and loved. And I think there's a lot at stake when you’re living out loud in that way.

Right. And when you’re in the public eye, there's another layer to that with your sexual identity — added pressure, or another kind of fear. Coming out is such a personal, liberating experience. It's nobody's business. But especially when someone famous comes out — and even if their friends or family already know who they're stickin' and lickin' — it’s like, when everyone knows and it's in your heart, is that even really coming out?

Do you feel like Dirty Computer was a public coming out? Or how did you see that statement you made?

Well, one, whenever I'm making music, I start with where I honestly am and what I honestly have to say. I work inward, and then I focus outward, on how it can impact people and be helpful to others. But it starts with me.

I knew the title of this album since before The ArchAndroid, so I’ve been sitting with it for some time. There were just conversations that I had to have with myself and my family about my sexuality and the impact that speaking honestly and truthfully about it through my art would have. I grew up in the Midwest; you did, too. You spent time in Minneapolis. I spent time in Kansas. I grew up there, in a very small town, and I went to a Baptist church; to be anything other than heterosexual is a sin in that community, and growing up, I was always told I'd go to hell if I was. There was a part of me that had to deal with what that meant.

After I had those conversations with myself and I saw a therapist, I had to be able to talk about what it meant to identify as bisexual. What does that mean? How would discovering that impact the relationship I was in at the time? How do I talk about it with my family? How do I go back to my church? The bottom line is I had to have conversations with myself and the folks that love and care about me, and realize they may not understand what it means for me to be a person who identifies as queer in this world. I’ll also add that it wasn't like I wanted to even make it a declaration. I knew that by being truthful through my art, people were gonna have questions, and I had to figure out a way to talk about it. And in having those talks with myself, I realized it was bigger than just me. There are millions of other folks who are looking for a community. And I just learned into that. I leaned into the idea that if my own church won't accept me, I'm gonna create my own church.

Hallelujah. How do you feel about the state of queer acceptance in 2019?

How do I feel about it? I mean, to be young, queer, and black in America means that you can be misunderstood. You can be hated. It also means that you can be celebrated and loved. And I think there's a lot at stake when you’re living out loud in that way. One thing I’ve realized even more was that when you walk in your truth, you can inspire and encourage people to walk in theirs’. I don't know if you got the opportunity to see, but I watched this episode of Queer Eye the other day, and there was this woman, Jess. A young girl from Kansas who really touched me. And I think she touched a lot of people. It was a special episode because I could relate to her — I knew what it meant to be that young and living in the Bible Belt. And she wanted so badly to be this strong, black, queer woman, and she said that I had influenced everything from the way she was dressed to the way she was seen. I just said to myself, "Man, the fact that my album has reached another young black woman like her, and it's helped her in her life, it makes me feel like I'm walking in my purpose and it's really what I'm supposed to be doing." And I can't give up.

I think people are looking for that validation. When they're trying to talk to their parents and their parents don't see that representation out in the real world and people being accepted like that — it's foreign to them, and I think that by being the example, we make it a little easier for kids to be able to talk to their loved ones about it.

Well, listen, sis. People were lit to know that you were queer as fuck. It was exciting. [laughs]

[laughs] I was terrified.

You were scared? What did you think was gonna happen?

I thought people were gonna say, "Oh, she's doing this as a publicity stunt." I thought I wasn't gonna be able to go back home and be at all the barbecues. I had anxiety. And a lot of it was just untrue. It was my fear of what people were gonna say. And I'm thankful that I didn't allow that fear to get in the way of my freedom.

The entertainment industry has not caught up. We're making some waves, but we can do better. And again, it’s about normalizing and telling more stories, and inviting more LGBTQIA+ folks into the conversation on the front end, and giving us a seat at the table early on. Because we can’t afford to see things in a binary way. That’s not how the world works.

That’s the fear of being part of any marginalized group. That fear — of being black and queer and a woman and young — that fear of erasure is really real. And being a public figure, coming forward with your identity and allowing people to be emboldened by that and inspired by that — back in the day, women like you were erased.

I talk about Sister Rosetta Tharpe all the time. She was black and queer and big, and invented rock and roll. And where is she? Where are her monuments? And by setting the example, you can help us change that, and counter that kind of erasure.

Are there any black queer women and artists that you wanna shout out? I feel like we need to get the flowers to these women.

Yeah! I love Lena Waithe. Having her representing on the film side and as a producer, a writer, and the fact that she's thriving and so successful, it’s encouraging. Lorraine Hansberry. Bell Hooks. Meshell Ndegeocello. Who else? I just hope we can get to a point where black women who don’t identify as strictly heterosexual are normalized.

Yes. And making it more intersectional as well, and including trans women in that narrative. I love Janet Mock. I am obsessed with her.

Yeah, me too! She is an incredible woman. And I love MJ Rodriguez. I love Indya Moore. I love Laverne Cox. Those women are amazing, and they are, every single day, normalizing what it means to be a trans woman, and speaking their truth and walking in it.

Amen. It’s all about representing. I just wanna pass out flowers and receive flowers, that’s all I wanna do. I think representation is so important. I wanna see drag queens at the Oscars. I wanna see a drag queen host the Oscars. Can that happen?

Listen, if it was on my watch, I would make sure it happens. I think the entertainment industry has not caught up. We're making some waves, but we can do better. And again, it’s about normalizing and telling more stories, and inviting more LGBTQIA+ folks into the conversation on the front end, and giving us a seat at the table early on. Because we can’t afford to see things in a binary way. That’s not how the world works.

No! It’s a spectrum, and everyone needs to realize and respect it. Respect the spectrum!

You also work with Time’s Up, and I think that’s really important. We gotta protect women’s rights. What work are you doing moving forward to help LGBTQ people gain a foothold in the film industry and media? And how has Time’s Up helped open up some doors?

I'm honored to be a part of Time’s Up and support women. And that's inclusive of all women. As a black woman, however, that's what I know and that's the lens that I'm looking at things through. Whether it be behind the scenes, producing and engineering, to writing or being in front of the camera, there's a lot more work that needs to be done.

I've also started my own organization, Fem the Future, which is a grassroots organization that provides opportunities across the entertainment and the arts, through mentorship and education, for those who identify as women. Through our work, we try to highlight and empower women behind the mic, behind the camera, the stage, the screen, the boardroom. Everywhere. And I founded Fem the Future because I was looking to collaborate with more women on the engineering side and production side and songwriting side, and it was so difficult to find women in these roles. It was frustrating. And I understood why. I said, "Oh, okay. We gotta make more noise." And so I decided to do something about it.

With Dirty Computer, I made a bigger declaration to myself — that I'm not putting out an album if I can't be all of me. You're gonna take the blackness, you're gonna take the fact that I love science fiction. You're gonna take the fact that I am a free ass motherfucker. You're gonna take that all in and because that is what you're gonna get.

That's amazing. I think women are phased out of creative industries by the quote-unquote “boy’s club” way early on. It’s more than just getting them the job — it's giving them the training, making them feel comfortable enough to make mistakes and lean into something and have a girl’s club. So they can get all the experience they need to be at the top of the game.

Let me tell you. It's not that we're not there, we're just not given the opportunity. We can compete at a high level. It's what you said, it's about us pulling for each other. And it's about men, also, who are in the experience of power actively seeking out more women. As artists, we get the opportunity to have this platform and shine light. And that’s the blessing.

Yes. I want to segue into you as an artist, and the music you’ve created and brought into the world. People who know you know that you're in control of the Janelle Monáe story, and your saga, and how the saga unfolds. Can you walk me through your character arc from The ArchAndroid all the way to Dirty Computer, and all of the things you've learned about yourself through your music?

That's a great question. I like to think that I know everything that a project is gonna do and be when I go into it — “I'm gonna go in and write this song, and it's gonna mean this.” But you know like I know, once you put something out and you sit with it, you find out new things that you weren’t even paying attention to. People will come up to you and say, "This is what this means to me." And you're like, "Wow, I had no clue that that's what I was saying, and that you would feel that way after you heard it." The beauty of art is that it reveals itself over time, even to the artists who create it.

I think I do have strong visions; I always have strong visions. With ArchAndroid, I knew what I wanted the content to be, and I used the tools that I knew how to use at that time to create it. In my projects, I always challenge myself to grow and learn my voice and how to stretch beyond what I can comfortably do. So I started to engineer myself more, which meant I got to spend more time with me. I produced as well. And I'm a writer, and a storyteller. So as I grow and as I'm taking in information and growing at this exponential rate, I try my best to create music and albums that support that, that allow me to completely be all of me.

With Dirty Computer, I made a bigger declaration to myself — that I'm not putting out an album if I can't be all of me. You're gonna take the blackness, you're gonna take the fact that I love science fiction. You're gonna take the fact that I am a free ass motherfucker. You're gonna take that all in and because that is what you're gonna get.

Yes. Take it or leave it. Making music — is that therapeutic for you, working through all of that?

Well, yeah. It is hard. It takes discipline to finish an album, to really sit down and say, "Okay, I need to show up." You gotta show up mentally. You can't just show up when every day is beautiful and you have the perfect candle and flowers there and it's smelling good. You gotta work through it. Even when I didn't feel like writing, I wrote, because it was important to challenge myself, to stretch my muscles and finish.

I didn't feel like I had all the time in the world to write Dirty Computer. When you think about the state of this country, when you think about who's in office, when you think about having a Vice President who believes in conversion therapy, and you think about how 77 percent of LGBTQ teenagers surveyed in 2018 report feeling depressed or down over the past week — I didn’t think that this album could wait.

I read from the Trevor Project that suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people aged 10 to 24. And that LGB youth contemplate suicide at at least three times the rate of a heterosexual youth. When you think about our trans brothers and sisters, our trans sisters being murdered, and when you just look at the state of the world, and when I'm working on an album like Dirty Computer that is centered around uplifting marginalized groups and those who feel isolated and outcast from our society, this album couldn’t wait. I had to get really focused.

And I also didn't wanna filter myself. I wanted to say it how I felt it. If I was upset, if I was feeling sexually liberated, if I was feeling afraid and vulnerable, whatever feelings I had, I laid it all out on the table. Once I finished, that was how I measured success. That's how I measured if I was gonna be proud of this work — did I show up? Did I show up?

Wow. When you talk about the world like that, and you lay all of those devastating facts ... It's not even facts. It’s what's happening to real people.

It can make self-care feel like a luxury, when people are being so aggressively oppressed — not just in their own neighborhoods, but throughout the country, by our administration. And because my messaging is self-care, because my messaging is self-love, it makes me want to reappropriate the term “self-care” into something that could save your life. It’s an idea that’s becoming trendy right now, but it’s much more than that. It’s like, “How do I take care of myself in this world that's not designed to take care of me?”

Artists like us, who do have a message in our music and connect with people on that level, have a responsibility to make self-care less about a fluffy day at the spa and help people in our community understand how important it is. How did you find self-care while you were dealing with talking about your sexuality to your friends and family in your community, and also while making Dirty Computer? And how can we repurpose that and help younger people learn that that term is more than just a trend?

I think one of the greatest gifts that I've been given as my therapy is music, is art. It's a gift that I honestly wish everybody could have and receive. And I think mental health is an issue in all communities, but particularly suicide rates, like I mentioned before, in the LGBTQIA+ and black communities. My community was not pushed to go spend their check on a therapist. It was, spend your check on some new Polo shirts and some Jordans. We weren’t taking our money growing up as teens and going to therapy. And I think a lot of us could benefit from that. But I do know that not a lot of people can afford it. And what I hope is that we can put more money into the mental health system around the world for young folks.

I love the Trevor Project. I love a place in New York called The Center. There are lots of places that offer help and therapy for those who have been pushed out of their homes. But I think what I've been able to do through albums like The ArchAndroid or The Electric Lady or Dirty Computer is to be able to talk about where I am at that time, and to release it and speak it out loud. And that has helped me immensely.

And also, I think it's important for us to be particular about the people we're hanging out with, too. I love the fact that I can be who I am at Wondaland with people who are inviting and patient with me as I walk through my process. And I think that it's our friends and our loved ones that we speak to and communicate with every day who can add to releasing pressure — the pressure and weight that we feel as we're trying to navigate life and walk through life, and embrace the things that make us unique.

You know what I noticed? The more I started loving myself, and the more I started self-caring, the people around me changed and became more conducive to that. The people who were toxic and weren't conducive to a self-loving nature just were segued out by God, by the universe, by my energy just repelling them. And I wish it didn't have to be that way, I wish it was the other way around. I wish that the people around us could help us find self-care and self-love. But that's unfortunately not the world that we were given.

We have to create our own worlds. And I think that mentorship is so important. Like you were saying, therapy's expensive. But mentorship can be free. And that's something that we can start with. Especially in lower income communities, the black community. But for now, we just have you.[laughs] We have music. People are looking to Dirty Computer and artists like you as mentors, long distance mentors. And I think it's really special that you hold that place in people's hearts and that it's reaching a culture. You can watch Queer Eye and see your influence. I'm just so happy to breathe the same air as you.

Oh, please. I’m happy to breathe the same air as you. You also are a free ass motherfucker to me in the way that you approach how you perform, how you love yourself publicly, how you embrace your body. And you're just gorgeous. On stage, offstage, the fact that you play an instrument, the fact that you're writing, the fact that you have ideas as a black woman — you are redefining what it means to be young, black, wild, and free in this country. And you are someone I actively look to whenever I feel like second guessing if I should take risks or not. Because I see the risks that you're taking and the love and appreciation that you show for yourself makes me lean further into loving and respecting myself, and being patient with myself, and not allowing myself to live by anybody's standards.

We are the standard. Thank you, sis. And you know what? Just keep rockin' in the free world, keep showin' 'em what it is. In every industry.

I will. You too. Let’s do it together. Collaboration. Come back over so we can keep on going. I cannot wait for your album. It's time. You've got to put a dent in the culture and in the planet. Rightfully so.

Let’s go. Let’s go!

Photographer: Justin French

https://www.them.us/story/janelle-monae-living-out-loud

[prisma-does-things]

My Interpretation of Daganronpa V3′s ending (plus extra goodies)

Hey everyone! Long time no see, but I think I may finally have time to do things regularly now. I’m gonna try and split this blog across Writblr/Fic, Danganronpa, and Edits so we’ll see how this goes, lol. I’ll have a new intro out sooooon!

Anyways onto what you clicked for:

This is a compilation theory of my interpretation of DRV3’s ending. I can justify why I think anything I say here if you want me to, but if I wrote down evidence for everything here it’d literally be 100 pages long so if you wanna discuss just ask me! Some of these things are just straight up indulgent but that’s the fun of interpretations!

1 | The Beginning of Team Danganronpa

After the events of DR3, and I mean LONG after the events of DR3--like at least a century--Hope’s Peak Academy has been diluted into a small and insignificant government program, totally out of the way of society. Talent isn’t as much of a big deal anymore and everyone’s chill now. The concepts of hope and despair, Junko and company are reduced to stories and paragraphs in history text-books.

Eventually, and slowly, the stories of the killing games entered into the world of fiction. The idea of the ultimate clash between Hope and Despair was quite enticing, and so Team Danganronpa was created to make these ideas come to life on the screen.. Reenactments, roleplays, museums, you name it and Team Danganronpa had a part in it. The hardships of the past lead to inspiration for the people of the present. Hope and despair became little aesthetics and concepts for people to attach themselves too, like coping mechanisms. 

However, as society grew to appreciate this, it grew more and more perverse. The reenactments became more and more realistic, and the people consuming it cared less and less about the specifics. All they cared for was the mindless and constant clash between Hope and Despair. Good or bad. It wasn’t even despair that society was experiencing, more like a perverted sense of sentimentality. If it sounds like I copied that I did, that quote was from Undertale.

2 | The New Killing Game

Anyways, at the rate things were going, it was inevitable that Team Danganronpa would eventually start recreating killing games using actual students, probably a combination of scouted out individuals and volunteers with actual murders. Remember that this is a society that bounced back from a near-end of the world decision, they’re all recovering, even the kids that were raised by the survivors. 

And please note that when I’m talking about the society in the Danganronpa world I don’t think that it applies to the fandom AT AL. In fact I think the society in DR is the exact opposite of the fandom, but let’s keep going.

3 | Rantaro’s Plan

We really don’t know the amount of ‘Seasons’ there’s been, but we’ll just call this one ‘Season 52’. Season 52 stares a whole new story continuing from the ‘fictional’ stories of Hope’s Peak. The only two members of this group that we know are Rantaro Amami...and Kaede Akamatsu, the two that chose to sacrifice themselves at the end of the 52nd killing game. Rantaro and Kaede both get survivor perks for their troubles, and the other two survivors are allowed to have their memories replaced so they can return to society with their sanity. Rantaro and Kaede can leave to the real world too, but they will be brought back for the next season, which is planned to be a sequel featuring them as the fan favorites.

Luckily for Rantaro, this is the perfect situation for his plan to destroy Team Danganronpa for good. Everyone else in the world is generally repulsed by Team DR’s actions, but their reliance on them is too great for them to break away or do much of anything.

He starts out by getting in contact with Kaede’s twin sister, we’ll just call her Haru as a temporary name. Rantaro needs to pitch a good plot for the next season, since it’s a sequel he’ll have the advantage in knowing where everything is, including the one weakness of the seasons mastermind. Because Kaede, being positive and bright, and Maru, being cynical and rude, are polar opposites, a twin vs. twin plot seems like the perfect thing to pitch to Team Danganronpa. 

In addition Rantaro also adds Shuichi Saihara and Tsumugi Shirogane to his little squad. Shuichi’s mind is analytical, but he lacks confidence. Rantaro knows Team DR enough to predict what they’ll do with him, so he becomes Rantaro’s backup. He adds Tsumugi only because she and Kaede were dating-A and he thinks she’ll make a good first victim, letting Rantaro get a bit more time to find the mastermind and convince the world to fight against Team DR.

 4 | Scouting of the other members

Before any of this, back when he was recording his Survivor Perk, he made sure to structure it in a way that would motivate a Rantaro in a killing game to get out and survive another game so he could try again. He really wanted to cover all of his bases, he was dealing with a huge corporation by now after all.

In another sect, Kaito Momota and Maki Harukawa, who are both dating, join in with Rantaro’s idea. And, somewhere entirely different, a prince by the name of Kokichi Oma, and his personal maid, Kirumi Tojo, are both scouted and kidnapped by Team Danganronpa for the next killing game. A shy but sweet mechanic whose father is friends with the Queen of the kingdom, Miu Iruma, decides to volunteer.

After much planning from Rantaro’s group, they strategically get everyone in the 53rd killing game, lying on their audition tapes...well-everyone except for Maru. Team DR accepts the whole twin vs. twin plot, and they start modification of the sets, making them seem dilapidated and old to show a passage of time. Right on the cusp of the plans success, Kaede succumbs to her guilt. After seeing the horrors of the killing game her spirit is broken, and soon before the game’s beginning, she commits suicide. The final note she leaves to her sister asks her to end the killing games, despite their differences. 

Without a twin to complete the plot, Team DR is forced to improvise. They bring out a beta for a project they were planning, a robot named K1-B0, or Keebo. Keebo’s purpose was to be the audience's eyes, something suggested by Miu to give her friends an advantage in ending the game. 

5 | The Start of Season 53

Finally, the killing game starts. 

The 16 students are brought to Team DR one way or another. Maru is especially shocked, as she’s never participated in a killing game before, but is treated like she did. Everyone’s memory is replaced, save for Rantaro who’s allowed to keep a set few memories that would’ve worked well for the sequel plan. Everyone wakes up in the lockers, with Maru waking up next to Shuichi, now forced to take the identity of Kaede. She tries to get the hang of her sister’s personality, as we see in pregame, but eventually her entire identity is replaced with a Flashback light when she receives her talent. You could also describe it as an Ultimate Revival if you wanted to. Maru becomes Kaede Akamatsu, now able to fulfill the role that her sister is now unable to.

After the events of the prologue (Which is called Ultimate Revival by the way, I don’t want you to miss that wordplay) Tsumugi wakes up in a locker, right next to Keebo. Something not even Rantaro accounted for happened, Tsumugi was chosen to be the mastermind. Not Kokichi or even himself like he was expecting. However, Team DR saw Tsumugi as a perfect candidate for a mastermind, as her obsession with fiction was seen as relatable. She was a perfect reflection of what society had become.

Tsumugi’s mind was barely touched by the Flashback lights, but all of her relationships with her friends and girlfriend were replaced. Upon waking up and seeing Keebo, he explains to her that they’re currently in a spaceship that was supposed to take off ages ago and the outside world is inhospitable. Panicking, she sets K1-B0 into it’s ‘friendly’ mode and lets him go off and talk with the others, entirely forgetting about his set role as a future traitor, as well as the Flashback Light machine. 

However, K1-B0 was set to teach the mastermind how to do their job, and now without that information in their memory, Tsumugi doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do. All she knows right now is that she has some involvement with the mastermind. As a result, the Monokubs, another set of helpers, also have no idea what they’re doing and have to rely on Monokuma, an AI the mastermind can’t control, for instruction.

6 | Tsumugi as the Mastermind

Tsumugi ends up wandering around, stopping and staring at an odd dragon statue. That’s when Shuichi and Kaede find her in-game. Tsumugi can’t explain why, but Kaede touching her cheeks made her feel all fluttery inside. After their ‘first’ interaction together, Tsumugi takes note of the big round ball in the dragon’s hand. 

The first motive, The First Blood Perk, comes around, along with the time limit soon after. The pressure of this definitely scares Tsumugi, but she wants to see Kaede get out okay, especially since she feels inspired by her.

At some point Tsumugi goes to the bathroom and discovers the hidden room entirely by accident. Once into the room with Motherkuma, she asks about the whereabouts of Kaede, and Motherkuma gives her details about her and Shuichi’s plan. Wanting to help out, but not wanting to seem suspicious, she gets about the bathroom a.s.a.p and goes back to blending in. She’s planning to get Kaede out as soon as she can, but she doesn’t know if she can do it.

Time goes on, and eventually that really loud music starts playing. Tsumugi knows Kaede’s gonna make a move, so she rushes to the hidden room in the library again and starts her own little plan. After stealing a shot put ball from the warehouse, something she did out of inspiration from the dragon, Tsumugi opens up the hidden door in the library to see Rantaro lying crumpled on the floor by the bookshelf.

Without thinking, she smashed the ball into Rantaro’s head and finished him off. She initially thought him to be the mastermind, but after checking his survivor perk she realizes that there’s a lot more to Rantaro, and this game, than she realizes. Desperate for more time to solve the mystery, she rushed back with everyone else to get on with the investigation.

7 | The First Trial

As the investigation rolled around, she started panicking. She formed a quick alibi in the form of her cospox, but planned to explain herself more in the class trial. She wasn’t quite ready to face reality yet. She knew Monokuma was supposed to punish her, so she let herself act like she was innocent until the time came. 

Once the class trial DID come around, she realized what Kaede was doing. Once Monokuma declared the voting right, she was confused, but took it as an opportunity to defeat the Mastermind. Her death made her distraught, but she bit her tongue and promised to solve it for Kaede’s sake.

The night of the Class Trial, she went back into her secret room when she was greeted by a Flashback Light. This one, on top of the one everyone else received, was built to make her be a more efficient mastermind. 

8 | The Trials After…

Trials 2-4 were largely the same. Just after each Class Trial, Tsumugi was given a different special Flashback Light to get her to question everything around her more, specifically targeting the idea that everything Danganronpa, including Hope’s Peak, isn’t actually real. Monokuma had been no help, fully content holding the truth over her and making her dance around to find it. I don’t have any idea what those Flashback Lights could’ve been, but I DO know that one of the ones meant for Tsumugi was nabbed by Angie in chapter 3. Tsumugi planned for her to find it, but didn’t expect her to destroy it.

By Chapter 4, Tsumugi asked Monokuma to show the “outside world” for the first time, confirming what Keebo said. During this time, she fully believed the scene outside to be real, mostly because she had no other evidence to disprove it. After this, Tsumugi decided to start a plan of her own that she’d enact by herself.

9 | Tsumugi’s Plan

Before getting a look at the Neo World Program in Chapter 4, Tsumugi used a Flashback light on herself to replace the memory of her seeing the outside world with her doing something else. This was because she needed a fresh reaction to seeing the outside world, but also because she needed to avoid Kokichi, who was definitely the closest to being able to figure her out and expose her.The other one she needed to keep an eye on was Shuichi, who could also figure her out if he ever caught his suspicions. In her desperation she never noticed the secret of the Flashback Lights, which lead to her replacing memories instead of erasing them like she was excepting. 

The next step of her plan involved her overhearing Kokichi and Miu’s plan to create the Electro hammers. She knew they’d be used to escape the ship at some point, and with a fresh reaction everything would be in place for the next step, which was getting Oma killed to give herself time to figure everything else out so she could finally come clean. Of course, since she really believed the world outside was destroyed, she really just wanted to trick everyone into not committing any murders. That just happened to mean getting rid of Kokichi. 

With all of this in mind, she wrote down her plan and used the Flashback light on herself. After having her memories erased, she went through the game as normal until trial 4 passed. Luckily for her, it gave her just the motivation she needed to want to kill Kokichi. She wasn’t quite able to see through Kokichi’s mask, she was blinded by a mix of power, confusion, and rage by then. 

Immediately after trial 4, she was hit with her usual mastermind Flashback Light, however this one made her remember something extra important, the script of season 53.  

Tsumugi actually wrote herself a fake set of plans as part of her plans. That was the whole ‘script’ thing she was talking about in chapter 6. She set the plans up so that way she truly believed she was the mastermind. She was taking the risk of Kokichi finding her, but she figured the confusion would throw off any secretive actions she could’ve done. The reason why she did this was to give herself confidence. If she made herself think that everything in her plan was already set to happen, she’d believe in herself enough to make it so. 

Going into Chapter 5 now, after seeing the outside world for the ‘first time’ she blended in with everyone else, but she did know that Kokichi wasn’t actually the Mastermind as she read the script she made for herself. Tsumugi didn’t plan for this, but it did help her out because it got everyone to go again Kokichi. 

After trial 5, and his sacrifice, Tsumugi was hit with her final flashback light. This one made her ‘remember’ her time as a part of Team Danganronpa. This didn’t mess with her plan too much, as she already knew that something would happen to her head before she made herself forget the secret of the outside world. However, after all of those lights..her head couldn’t take much more. There was too much stuff going on in her head, too many confusing contradictions for her to process. She ignored this originally because she thought that the Flashback Lights erased and created memories instead of replacing them, but it was too late. Keebo started destroying the academy, something she DEFINITELY didn’t plan for.

10 | The Final Trial

Without any way of solving the mystery of Team DR, she scrambled around and put together a class trial of her own, leaving the shot-put ball Kaede used in the trash for Shuichi to find later. All of her attempts came crashing down, but she was able to convince Monokuma to shamble together something to make season 53 end with a ‘good climax’. 

Trial 6 starts, and after Tsumugi’s found out as the mastermind, she uses a series of Nanokumas to help her cosplay. By now she believes that the stories of Hope’s Peak are fiction, so she’s able to cosplay them...and only them...all she wants. She doesn’t know anything about Team DR’s history, so she makes it all up, including the titles of the seasons, which she shambles together from her favorite fandoms. Monokuma plays along, and even adds in a huge audience set to make it look like everyone’s watching. In fact he’s so wrapped up in how good everything’s doing that he doesn’t realize Tsumugi’s baiting Shuichi into helping her.

During trial 6, she even brings up the motive that no one had a chance to see in chapter 5, the Pre-Game tapes they did when they were together ages ago. 

By presenting herself as an ultimate evil, Tsumugi took Shuichi’s will to find the truth and twisted it so that he’d end up finding what she wanted him to. She wanted Shuichi to discover the truth, that fiction can change the world. 

At the end of it all, Tsumugi allowed herself to be killed, succumbing to the after effects of the Flashback Lights and letting herself be consumed by the lies. Believing herself now to be some kind of replacement to Junko Enoshima, and thus a ‘cosplay-cat killer’, she allows herself to be killed and finally rest. She wanted to admit what she did more carefully, to say a final goodbye or at least hint to the fact that she meant to help them, but she couldn’t. 

Shuchi, Maki, and Himiko all survive, finally able to leave Danganronpa together. Team DR allows it, as it feels satisfying, but they do look forwards to seeing the 3 of them try to truly end Danganronpa for good. Tsumugi doesn’t know what’s on the other side of the End-Wall, but she trusts in her friends to face that truth.

11 | Conclusion 

And that’s it! I hope you enjoyed this read/arrangement of evidence for what I think happened behind the scenes of Danganronpa V3! This took sooo much thinking it’s not even funny. Seriously I spent at least 4 full school periods doing nothing but thinking and taking notes. A lot of this is indulgent, specifically the parts with Kokichi being a prince and the whole Kaede + Kaede Twin Sister switch, I just thought those were neat. 

I didn’t say it there but I think that The Ultimate Talent Development Plan was actually two things. The first was a board game released alongside Season 53 featuring all the characters, and the second was actually a real program, sorta like the Izuru project. I don’t really wanna consider the implications of what this could do to my interpretation though, lol. 

But yeah, V3’s ending is really important to me. It upsets me wayy more than it should when people consider it to be stupid or lazy or insulting to the audience of the games. I think what they were trying to do with the ending was both stupid ambitious and super cool. Killing Harmony is like...my 2nd favorite piece of media ever. It’s so important to me, and as a storyteller I totally respect them for what they did with the ending. The idea of using the enjoyment of the franchise against the player was so brutal and effective for me. Danganronpa helped me grow as a person, and being undermined and told the emotional connection I had with everyone was all just bullshit hurt. Buuuut then Tsumugi and Shuichi helped me realize that even if it is just a bunch of silly bullshit, the emotional response that it gave me...and all the happiness I got from it, that’s all real. Ain’t no black and white bear taking that from me.

So yeah, thanks for reading.

Thanks for everything, Danganronpa.

[writerunsolved]

The Drunken Mistake - Ch. 4

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: F/M

Fandom: Real Person Fiction

Relationship: Tom Hiddleston/Reader

Genres: Fluff and Humor

Language: English

Chapters: 4/?

Summary:  You're a young up-and-coming singer based in London who has just released her first album.

After a wild night at the VMAs and some heavy partying and drinking at the afterparty, you write and publish a drunken tweet about a certain celebrity and one of their friends. You only realise what you've done the next day when a slew of texts and calls wakes you up to a dreadful but expected hangover. You immediately delete the tweet, but you're left to deal with the consequences. A public apology would probably be enough to make everything go away if you hadn't been invited to a movie premiere where said celebrity is most certainly going to be.

You decide that the best course of action will be to try and avoid them, but your plans almost never go the way you want them to.

Author’s Note: I had hoped to release this chapter a lot earlier, but I won't lie, the new Tumblr strikeout put me out of sorts, and I had a rough couple of days. Writing Hiddleston has turned out to be a bigger challenge than I had previously anticipated, but I hope it can still feel genuine to the fic.  Thank you all for your great patience, and I hope you enjoy this one!

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3

Chapter Four - One Cheesy RomCom

-

After the premiere, life got back to the usual. Your workload somehow increased, even.

Seen as the event had been right in the middle of the week, the next day you were allowed a late morning, but had to be right back at work in the afternoon so you decided to grab a quick lunch from Caffé Piccolo, and make your way to the label offices a little earlier than when you were supposed to be there.

While you were at it, you also bought Nina a couple of her favourite doughnuts from the coffee shop, sure that she would appreciate them as a thank you for letting you sleep in even though she’d still had to go into work early in the morning.

You were pretty sure the first commitment of the day was a radio interview for BBC1. You usually got a car with Nina from the label building to the destination the interview would take place, but this time you were lucky enough to have been invited to one of the programmes that filmed in the same skyscraper where the label was located. The building also housed some recording studios for voice acting and music recording. It was there that you had recorded your entire first album as a published singer, and the place held huge sentimental value for you for this reason, despite looking like most unimpressive office buildings would.

As soon as you got there, you caught Nina in the lobby of the ground floor dictating what was sure to be a countless number of instructions to a spooked intern you’d never met before who was furiously taking notes.

You made your way to the two, carrying the paper bag full of steaming doughnuts in your hand.

“...and that needs to be done by 5:25 PM today. Got it?” was all you gathered from the tail end of the one-sided conversation Nina was having.

The intern looked at you then back at her and nodded fervently. “You can go now, Liam.” was all Nina said to dismiss him. At that point, she turned towards you, but before you had any chance to greet her, she eyed the paper bag and asked “Are those from Caffé Piccolo? Are they blueberry and cream cheese?” snatching them out of your hand.

Nina was already biting into one of the doughnuts when you spoke, in a sarcastic monotone “Don't mention it, Nina, you’re so welcome. I’m so glad you like them.”

She moaned around the huge bite in her mouth and when she finally swallowed it down she asked rhetorically, “How do they make them so good?!” then she bunched the top of the paper bag closed with another doughnut in it and announced, “I have news.”

“Oh?” you inquired.

“ Someone’s manager asked for your contact info,” she explained, “Thanks for the heads-up, by the way.”

“Oh my god! I completely forgot!” You hadn’t told her about your agreement with Tom the night before, so you apologised, “I’m so sorry, Nina. It totally slipped my mind. What did you tell them?”

“Well,” she began, “I gave it to her. I guessed that was the plan, considering the circumstances.”

“You are the goddess of order and knowledge!” You grabbed her before she could protest and squeezed her in a tight hug.

“Yes, yes, I know.” You were certain she was rolling her eyes. She patted your back weakly with her free hand and continued, “Now please, let me go. We have work to do.”

When you released her, Nina pulled out a business card from one of her back pockets and handed it to you with a “Here.” You stowed it away in your bag and resolved to enter the contact information in your phone as soon as you had a couple of minutes. Finally, Nina started walking towards the elevator, so you followed her up to the floor where your interview was going to take place.

It was a couple of hours before you could leave the recording booth of the radio. Between the waiting and the actual interview, the whole thing had run a bit later than expected, which luckily didn’t turn into a problem. As a matter of fact, your next appointment was for dinner with Nina and Nadia, and an agent from a fashion magazine.

You had been asked to give your input for an upcoming campaign you would be taking part in and be photographed for, and the dinner was the meeting to finalise the deal. Because Nadia was your personal stylist, she was also to be involved to make sure you were comfortable with the aesthetic of the photoshoot. These kinds of jobs didn’t usually require you to be so engaged in the decisional process, but you didn’t mind. You were actually quite enthusiastic about getting to work on the creative part of the project, rather than just standing in for the pictures.

Nevertheless, the dinner was the reason why a few hours went by before you could check your phone and finally type in Tom’s info.

At the end of the night, Nina dropped you off at your apartment building. While you waited for the elevator to get to your floor, you pulled out your phone from your bag, but before you could do anything else, you noticed you had a new message from an unknown number. It read: “ Hi. This is Tom, I thought I should let you know that my manager gave me your contact info. Hope you’re doing well, have a nice evening :) ”

You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you shot back “ Hi! My manager also gave me your number earlier today, sorry for not letting you know before... It’s been a long day, but a good one. Hope your day was also good (: ”

You finally reached your floor, keeping your phone in your hand while opening the door, and soon enough it vibrated with another text.

“ I can’t say I worked as hard as you, I had a free day so I caught up with family. Unfortunately, the rest of the week won’t be as merciful… what about yours? ”

“ It’ll be just the usual, I guess, ” you typed fast, “ Some promotional work at the label and a couple of interviews here and there. What are your plans? ”

You took advantage of the wait for his answer to get undressed and ready for bed. Unlike that morning, you had to work early the next day and it was already past ten. Nevertheless, your mind kept drifting to the conversation you were having. It had been surprisingly easy to enter the conversation, you did it with almost no thought. It felt liberating to communicate this way - even though you didn’t know each other very well and you weren’t really expecting a conversation to start, it definitely did wonders for your shyness. And the exchange came strangely natural.

It reminded you of catching up with a friend you hadn’t seen in a while, even though the warmth in your chest that didn’t seem to want to go away was unquestionably a new feeling.

You pulled on a soft t-shirt you used as pyjamas, and finally settled in bed with your earphones in and some soft music to help the day flow out of you. You checked your phone and Tom had answered again.

“ I’ve been recruited for voice acting this time, ” his text read, “ It’s a fairly big project, I’ll be on the job for the next couple of weeks. ”

“ That sounds exciting! :D ” you sent back, “ Should I wait until you’re free again to schedule our promised dinner? ”

“ I hope we can arrange something before then, but I’ll let you know in a few days. :) ”

“ Great! ” You should have probably toned it down with the exclamation marks, but you couldn't stop yourself, “ Is it okay for me to ask about your voice acting project, or is that top secret? ” You didn’t feel like letting the conversation end just yet.

Luckily, it turned out that he could indeed talk about it, and he told you as much along with some more details. You asked him more question, and he did the same in turn. Before the talk could end properly, you drifted to sleep, the both of you still deep in conversation until almost an hour later. You didn’t say goodnight, but when you woke up the next day - earphones still in but music long faded away - you found you had a couple more messages.

One of them was a continuation of your chat, while the other had been sent around midnight and read, “ I’m guessing you fell asleep, so goodnight… and good morning. :) ”

-

The next few days proceded in much the same way. Sometimes you were the one to text first, and other times he was: you would greet each other with a “ Good morning ” right before work, and the conversation would continue from there.

That wasn’t to say you could text continually, you were both quite busy - you were often at the label offices, or you were out for interviews and small musical matinées - so the conversations weren’t always linear, but they happened almost every day.

Some days you would text him and he could only answer after several hours, and the opposite could also happen, but all the days you heard from each other ended with a goodnight text.

At some point, talking so often became natural enough that you stopped worrying about bothering him, you just saw something funny or that made you think about him, and a text followed shortly after. Of course, some days that little voice in your head going “Don’t text him, he’s just being nice, you’re actually bothering him a lot!” would come back with a fiery passion, but the way he would end a sudden text with an “ I’m glad you texted. ” made all your doubts dissolve on the spot.

It was rare that either of you would delve into intimate matters - you’d only met around a week before after all, and the understanding that the texts should remain light seemed mutual - but the way you spoke to each other felt like a prelude to something greater, always on the brink of that one word you were nervous to say or hear. You realised with an exhilarating mix of apprehension and excitement that in the short time you’d known each other, you had somehow started trusting him, and it hit you out of the blue like a bat to the stomach.

A little over a week after you’d started texting, on just any day, you were in a meeting with some old man from another label who was requesting your presence at an event you couldn’t quite remember in detail. The reason for that was that, seemingly out of the blue, he had made a sexist joke at your expense, and you became blinded by rage. You felt humiliated and belittled, afraid of how to tell Nina you wanted out of the agreement.

You should have trusted her to have your back, though, because the minute those foul words left his mouth, she stood up, said glacially, “Thank you for your time, but we’re not interested,” and made quick work of getting out of there. You were left scrambling to follow after her, completely stunned.

As soon as you were both out the door, she turned to you with an irritated expression and apologised, “That was completely unacceptable. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’ll take responsibility for the deal being called off.”

You struggled with a response, mouth gaping but unsure of what to say. So you didn’t say anything at all. You just threw your arms around her and hugged her with all the strength you had, hoping that your gratitude could seep out from your skin and into hers. She hugged you back without a word and when you separated she touched your cheek gently, a rueful smile on her lips, and told you, “I have another appointment after this, but you should go ahead and enjoy the rest of the night. This was your last meeting for today.”

You nodded and thanked her before saying goodbye, and then you watched her back as she walked away. Nina’s support had definitely helped lessen you initial anger, but the whole situation was still nagging at you, leaving you with the acute prickle of disappointed and a sour taste in the back of your throat.

You decided to make a quick stop to the restroom to cool down before leaving. You looked into the mirror, and your mind instinctively thought of Tom, the urge to contact him mounting with every second.

You exited the room and started rummaging inside your bag for your phone with shaky hands, ready to text him. You had just grabbed the device and were unlocking the screen when you felt something lightly brush your shoulder, making you jump out of your skin.

You whirled around with a jolt, expecting some kind of fight, and sighed in relief when you realised it was Tom.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologised. He was looking at you with concern.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, “Don’t worry about it.” Then you forced out a smile and started over, “Hi! What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” he greeted too, “I didn’t realise you were signed under this label. This is where I’ve been recording for that project I told you about,” he explained.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, remembering the previous exchange. You tried to think of something more to say when he spoke again.

“Are you alright?” he asked you, a frown had taken over his features and was deepening by the second, “You seem a little shaken.”

You closed your eyes briefly, your unconvincing smile disappearing entirely, and tried, “I… Yeah...” You gave up halfway, sighed again and started over, this time sincerely, “Actually, not really.”

You finally opened your eyes, he looked right into them with intense worry, it made you weak in the knees for just a second. Registering that he was giving you time to gather your bearings for an explanation - if you were willing to give one - you continued, “I had a harsh meeting.” You paused again, diverting your eyes, unsure of whether to say it or not and in the end, you decided to do so, “Sexism doesn’t magically disappear when you start selling music, apparently,” you concluded, unable to keep the bitterness from your voice.

He reached a hand and circled his fingers around your wrist in a delicate grasp, not once turning his focused gaze away from your eyes. He took a deep breath and finally said, “I am mortified that you had to go through that. I will try and be of support to you if you were to decide to take legal action.”

You recoiled, completely blindsided by his words. You didn’t think that was necessary, and it definitely wasn’t something that you had even considered. Nevertheless, warmth spread through your chest, and you felt all the remaining anxiety drain from your bones. The thought of someone so readily believing you, not even knowing the whole situation, was as unfathomable as it was touching and the fact that that person was Tom, whom you’d unwittingly started trusting and hesitated to believe the sentiment was reciprocated in the way it seemed to be, made something deep within your soul shake in fear and trepidation.

You smiled, earnestly this time, your hand sliding backwards so that his fingers were touching yours. You could feel heat seeping in from where your fingertips were pressed against his. “I am genuinely moved, I don’t know how to thank you for what you just said,” you almost whispered.

His frown dissipated, a tiny smile taking its place, and his cheeks darkened in an almost invisible blush. You kept silently smiling and looking at each other for a few more seconds, then a door along the corridor closed with a loud bang and the moment was broken. Your hands separated.

Tom looked around embarrassedly, stroking the side of his neck in a nervous gesture and searching for what to say. He smiled nervously once again and finally asked you, “There’s a canteen on the 18th floor, would you like to get something to drink?” then he seemed to have forgotten something and hastily added, “I mean right now. With me.”

You couldn’t stop the small giggle that left your lips, seeing him flustered made your heart swell with affection. You lifted the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder and replied, “I’d like that very much.”

You made your way to the elevator walking side by side, neither of you speaking. When you finally entered the lift, he selected the 18th floor as you stood next to each other, silence turning stiff. Suddenly, you twitched with realisation and said, “I know I should have asked this sooner, but how is the voice acting going, by the way?”

“It’s been a lot of fun, thanks for asking,” he replied with a genuine smile, “It’s been quite intense, considering the hours, but I’ve been enjoying it greatly.”

You smiled back. Right then, the elevator pinged to signal you had arrived, so you exited it and made your way to the canteen on the other side of the corridor.

“I’m really glad to hear that,” you told him, “You have an amazing voice, it’s surprising that you’re not flooded with offers of voice acting work,” without thinking you also added, “But then again, it would be a shame to hide your lovely face behind a virtual character.”

He suddenly stopped walking, you did the same. “Oh?” he asked, his tone entertained.

You were confused for just a second before realising what you’d just said, “No! I meant- uh- I-I… Wha-”  you scrambled to explain yourself, “Because of your acting!” He pursed his lips, obviously trying to suppress his laughter, and you continued, “The things you do! With your face! While acting… are just, so good!” you finished with a grimace.

He finally started laughing.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I did this again.” you groaned.

“It’s completely fine,” he reassured you, still smirking, “It gets more endearing every time.”

You couldn’t help but smile back, a deep blush staining your cheeks.

You both started walking again, finally reaching the entrance to the canteen. He opened the door and gestured for you to enter ahead of him, then followed you inside.

The canteen was a spacious area on the left side of the building, it was furnished with small wooden tables and wrought-iron chairs, all along a wall of windows overlooking a district of mostly other office buildings. The tables surrounded the central space where an island bar was located and the cashier worked. Off to the side, there was a small door closing off the kitchen area where most of the food was prepared. The place was mostly used by the employees that worked in the building as a lunch area, but it wasn’t unusual to find other faces of the music or show businesses drinking a coffee and enjoying the view at all hours of the day.

You’d been there several times with Nina and the rest of your crew for a coffee break or to wait between meetings. You loved the view, watching the grey London skies and looking at the bright city lights when your work kept you busy until late was a great way to take in the vastity of other people’s lives.

You looked around for an unoccupied table, there were quite a few but you set sight on one right next to the windows with two empty seats.

“Go on ahead,” Tom told you, following your gaze, “What would you like? I’ll go grab it for us.”

“Just a cappuccino, please.” You then motioned to pull out your wallet and added, “Here, let me-” but he stopped you with a hand on your forearm and said with a smile, “No need, I got it.”

You smiled back and thanked him, so he headed for the small bar and you made your way to the table you’d eyed. You set your bag on the floor against the legs of your chair and sat down, looking out towards the city while waiting for Tom to join you.

When Tom reached your table with a small metal tray - two coffee cups and a few sugar packets on it - and set it down, you jumped slightly. You’d been staring intently out onto the city, and your mind had begun to drift off on its own over what had happened earlier.

“Thank you very much,” you told him, sitting up, “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome,” he answered sitting down, then asked you, “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little spaced out.”

“I’m fine, really. Thank you for asking.” You ripped open one of the sugar packets and poured its contents into your drink and started stirring it absentmindedly. “It just kind of feels like a long day on my shoulders now, that’s all,” you smiled, your eyes on the cup.

He answered with a soft “Mhmm...” and said nothing else. When the silence stretched out, you finally looked up at him and he was staring right back at you, a scrutinizing but gentle expression on his face, but he didn’t say more.

You blushed under his gaze but covered it by taking a sip out of the large cup of steaming cappuccino. He did the same with his drink, then set it back down. Finally, he said, “I had a chance to listen to your album.”

You tried to read his expression with no luck. When he didn’t continue you prompted, “Oh?”

“I was very impressed,” he explained, “I already knew you have a wondrous voice - as I said before, your song for the soundtrack was quite astounding - but I was very surprised to find out you wrote most of the lyrics, too,” he paused for a second, then finished, “You have an amazing way with words.”

You were lost for words, didn’t really know how to respond to such high praise. You started, “I-” but had no idea what to say. In the end, you only said, “Thank you,” hoping that your gratitude would somehow translate in your tone. So much for the amazing way with words.

He chuckled, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he didn’t quite apologise.

“Oh no, that’s not it at all,” you insisted, “I’m just really stunned, I don’t get such huge compliments every day.”

He seemed like he wanted to say more, but just at that moment, his phone started ringing from his pocket. He pulled the phone out and looked at the screen with a frown. “I’m terribly sorry, I really need to take this,” he apologised.

“It’s alright, go on,” you reassured him and took another sip of your drink.

“Hello?” he answered into the phone. He listened to the person on the other end and said, “I understand, see you later,” then he ended the call.

He put the phone back into his pocket and told you, “I’m afraid I can’t stay much longer. That was my manager,” he explained, “It seems something has come up, and my presence is required. I’m really very sorry.”

You put down your cup and told him, “I completely understand, you don’t need to apologise.”

“Before I go,” he started regretfully, “I wanted to talk about dinner.”

Hearing the negative tone in his voice and bracing for a rejection, you said, “I will understand if you’ve changed your mind,” but he stopped you.

“No, no, that’s not it,” he rushed to deny, “I just don’t think I’ll be able to make it before my voice acting commitment ends. I know I said I would, and I apologise-”

“It’s alright, honestly,” you stopped him, “There’s no need to apologise, I can wait.” You smiled genuinely.

He responded with a smile of his own. You both got up, his now empty cup still on the table, and you finally said your goodbyes.

“It was tremendous to bump into you, I’m glad we could sit down and chat even if only for a bit,” he looked into your eyes and said, “I look forward to meeting again.”

You were disarmed by his charm. “It was the same for me,” you replied with a shy smile, “I hope we can talk again soon.”

“Of course,” he said, pointing to the pocket where his phone was. He hugged you briefly and kissed your cheek. “Have a nice evening,” he said, and with that, he walked away. You sat back down to finish your drink and looked at his retreating back. He turned around just once, noticed you were also watching him and saluted you with a small wave and a smile before finally disappearing behind the doors of the canteen and into the corridor.

You finished your drink slowly, gaze back towards the city. You couldn’t keep a dreamy smile from blooming on your lips.

Chapter 5

@honeybournehippy @namelesslosers @huntersvibe @unlikelytigerqueen @effielumiere @theoneanna

[zerochanges]

50 Years of Dororo - Mushi Pro’s Dororo 1969 vs Studio Mappa’s Dororo 2019

2019 marks the 50th anniversary of Mushi Pro’s Dororo anime adaptation, the last anime to be made solely in black and white. The 1969 original Dororo anime is a cult classic, with high accolades from the diehard community and still holds up incredibly well to this day. Yet that didn't stop Studio Mappa from creating their own adaptation of the manga, which has finally released just this week. So the real question is, how do the two of them compare--well let’s get into it.

But first, a little background. The original Dororo manga, created by prolific manga creator Osamu Tezuka, ran in Weekly Shonen Sunday for about one year, from August 1967 to July 1968, where it then entered a hiatus for a brief period, before finally shifting to the Monthly Adventure King magazine in 1969 where it was serialized for about 6 months (May to October ‘69) and finally “concluded”. I say concluded but the manga mostly just abruptly stops before the characters accomplish any of their own goals, and things are more or less just left open in case Tezuka ever wanted to come back to the series (he didn't). Despite this Dororo has remained to be an incredibly beloved property by Tezuka and seen its fair share of retellings and adaptations from video games to live action films, and of course to anime.

So now let’s talk anime. The original 1969 adaptation of Dororo was created by Mushi Pro, Tezuka’s own animation studio that he started half a decade back in 1963, and as said above was the last anime to be created solely in black and white. By this point in time color TVs were finally becoming widespread in Japan, and most anime have already started to be created in color. This was not an easy process, and was more time consuming for the production, which is why the decision was made by Mushi Pro to stick to the work pipeline they had and produce Dororo in black and white, a decision that really went on to define the entire series. Mushi Pro's Dororo has a very crisp look, with some great animation for its era, but beyond that also manages some incredibly terrifying and equally breathtaking moments because of its beautiful artwork mixed with the black and white aesthetic. There’s just something about black and white, the atmosphere it creates is otherworldly, ask any movie buff and they’ll tell you the effects it has on the horror genre is undeniable. I think these late black and white 1960 era anime hold up so incredibly well, and may in fact be even creepier nowadays (the 1968 GeGeGe no Kitaro comes to mind). 

Dororo (1969) episode 4: The Scroll of Bandai Part 2

Time marches on however, and after 50 years it’s time for another studio to take a swing at Dororo. Mappa is a small animation studio established in 2011, founded by Masao Maruyama, producer and co-founder of Madhouse, who left Madhouse to pursue his own passions and took some staff with him. Maruyama would later leave Mappa in 2016 unfortunately, but the studio to this day has still been producing hits since. The staff behind their current Dororo adaptation is helmed by Kazuhiro Furuhashi as director, Satoshi Iwataki as character designer, Yasuko Kobayashi in charge of scripts, and Yoshihiro Ike composing the music. Background animation is handled by Studio Pablo. Dororo is produced by Twin Engine, a production company with its main focus being the creators of the medium. Founded by Kouji Yamamoto, Twin Engine wishes to let young artist focus on creating anime, ignoring popular trends instead pursuing only the art of the medium; often commissioning work from studios to keep them financially afloat. Dororo, like a large majority of Twin Engine produced series, streams worldwide on Amazon Prime.

My final aside before diving into some thoughts on how both adaptations compare is that when it comes to adapting Tezuka’s iconic designs to the form of animation there are often changes made. The more Disney-esque look of his drawings can be hard to pull off for action animation, and well, giant noses, and bushy mustaches are well and good, but when you’re trying to sell hideous monsters chomping people into bits, maybe they are not that fitting for this story. That’s why both the 1969 Mushi Pro and 2019 Mappa series have their own takes on the design of the characters. Mushi Pro sorta goes for making protagonist Hyakkimaru more buff, and adult looking, whereas Mappa makes their Hyakkimaru slim and more ikemen. I think both approaches work fine for the story at hand, and are interesting time capsules of themselves for their own eras.

So let’s compare the first episode of both series!

Both episodes start in a similar fashion, with Feudal Lord Daigo Kagemitsu making a deal to 48 Demons and sacrificing his then unborn son in the process. However even this early on we can see differences between the two adaptations. 

In the 1969 Mushi Pro version Daigo willingly offers up his own son to the demons, and does so for power, asking them to grant him all of Japan under his rule, whereas in the 2019 Mappa version Daigo only offers the demons anything they want in return, never directly giving them his own son, and asks for the demons to give him the power and prestige he will need to rule over Japan. 

At first I felt that Mappa may have made Daigo a bit more sympathetic, him seemingly asking for his own province to be granted protection from disease, famine, and war is certainly something we haven’t seen out of the character, but were perks he does enjoy later in the story regardless. As I ruminated on it however, I realized it’s more of an attempt to round out his character and add some extra depth to him. Sure those may have been great things for a Feudal Lord to ask for, but Daigo really only cares about one thing, and that’s ruling Japan; this has yet to change. Daigo still has no qualms about his own son Hyakkimaru being born a hideous freak and still throws away the newborn baby to die in some river while yelling at his wife to make another one to replace it.

One Buddhist monk starves to death while bemoaning the state of Japan while another is slain and bemoans the current state of affairs in Japan

Then there’s Daigo killing a Buddhist monk. This scene does not exist in the 1969 Mushi Pro version (but Daigo does murder the monk albeit under different circumstances in the manga) and I have quite a bit to say about that. Daigo’s conversation with this monk, again, shows him off to be a bit more well rounded. He’s still selling his soul to the devil, but we can see his own level of commitment to his ambition when talking to the monk. The monk also plays another role that mirrors Mushi Pro’s first episode. In Mushi Pro’s debut episode Dororo comes across a starving Buddhist monk that can do nothing but beg for food and pray, and eventually succumbs to his starvation and dies. Both monks remark about the horrors of the current sengoku era being like Hell on Earth, and are meant to communicate to the audience that this particular time in Japanese history is perhaps one of the cruelest. 

1969 or 2019, Daigo is still a dirt-bag and makes his wife suffer.

Let’s talk about Hyakkimaru’s birth as I think it’s a pretty interesting contrast between these two adaptations. In the 1969 Mushi Pro version Daigo already knows his son should be born a monster so upon seeing the hideous freak that is his baby boy, he proudly declares “My end of the bargain is fulfilled!” The demons have accepted Daigo’s offer and he can’t be happier. In the 2019 Mappa version Daigo is not aware of what the demons will take until a bolt of lighting strikes the room his wife is giving birth in. Upon seeing the baby up close (something not seen in the 1969 version until the second episode) Daigo realizes what has happened and orders the baby killed. We then get a conversation about a Buddhist statue that happened to break in the same room. The wet nurse believes it sacrificed itself in order to save the baby, giving a sorta strange implication that perhaps the deal wasn't to take 48 body parts from Hyakkimaru but to take everything from him, including his life. In fact we never really even establish if there are 48 demons, or 48 body parts missing, so the number may vary, and the kind of curse could be different. If that is true, it is certainly a unique approach to the series.

The image of baby Hyakkimaru from Mushi Pro's 1969 Dororo adaptation is taken from the second episode as it was not shown in the first episode.

Hyakkimaru’s birth between the two versions shows how both mirror each other--we have less subtle writing but more subtle animation in the 1969 Mushi Pro adaptation, and more subtle writing but super over-the-top animation in the 2019 Mappa adaptation. I find this maybe the best way to compare these two anime entirely so far. There is no huge lightning bolt smiting the room Daigo’s wife is giving birth in with the Mushi Pro version, instead you hear the mother scream in terror upon Hyakkimaru's birth as she breaks down and cries. Daigo and his wife's expressions of horror at the baby is the only clear indication of Hyakkimaru's hideousness instead of just showing the baby like Mappa did. But the Mappa version is trying to give some more depth to its characters, and maybe even to its own world with added bits such as the Buddhist statue maybe protecting Hyakkimaru. Both adaptations seems to have reverse on what they want to be subtle about and what they want to be over-the-top about.

In the 1969 Mushi Pro version Daigo and his wife send Hyakkimaru down the river in a basket themselves, where as in the 2019 Mappa version Daigo orders the wet nurse to drown Hyakkimaru in the river, but she pities the baby and places him in an abandoned boat then pushes it down the stream. And then a demon shows up and murders her out of nowhere and is slain by the blind monk Zato (a character that didn't appear until Hyakkimaru narrates his past to Dororo a little later in the story). Yeah, that was a really weird addition to the story Mappa made. It’s certainly more over-the-top and gets a bit more action into an episode that amounts to basically all set-up, so there is that, I guess. Still really weird to see Zato show up like this.

Both Zato and Jukai don't make their introduction until Hyakkimaru explains his past to Dororo in the second episode of the 1969 Mushi Pro Dororo.

Speaking of adding in characters earlier than before, Mappa included scenes that would interrupt the episode every now and again that focus on a doctor who gives prosthetics to dead maimed warriors so they can rest in peace. These scenes did not exist in the 1969 Mushi Pro version, which didn't show Jukai until episode 2 where it tells the story of how he saved a baby in the river he found, Hyakkimaru, and gave it prosthetics.

The introduction to Dororo is pretty similar in both versions, but more drawn out in the 1969 Mushi Pro adaptation. As discussed above with Daigo and the Buddhist monk, there was a scene where a starving monk begs Dororo for food before succumbing to his own starvation and dying, this was not present in the 2019 Mappa adaptation. Dororo gets more time to just do some general hijinks and mess around in town in Mushi Pro's version as well, before finally stealing food from some lowlifes and getting the crap kicked out of him by the riverbank.

In the Mappa version instead of stealing food from lowlifes Dororo steals their cargo and tries to pawn it but is caught then beaten at the riverbank. I imagine Mappa was just trying to streamline Dororo's introduction here for time constraints so they did their best to get across that he’s a thief while also making sure he ends up at the riverbank right away. Either way both adaptations lead to this slime looking monster appearing out of a pile of garbage in the river and eating the lowlife. Mappa’s more over the top animation has the monster swinging around its arms wildly until eventually grabbing said lowlife and making a snack out of him, where Mushi Pro has it slowly slither on top of the lowlife and then melts him. Ouch, that’s kinda way more messed up.

The lowlife gets melted by the monster in the manga too.

From this point on both adaptations are pretty much entirely the same, with just differences in animation quality being really all there is to comment on. The fight scene between Hyakkimaru and the slime in Mappa’s version is fantastic, with Hyakkimaru performing incredible acrobatics, jumping all around the bridge and slicing the whole thing up until it collapses on top of the slime killing it, where Mushi Pro … well they did their best, okay.

The real big difference is that Dororo seems a lot more intelligent when approaching Hyakkimaru in the 2019 Mappa version. Dororo was very quick to notice that Hyakkimaru is blind, and that his body is made up of mostly prosthetics. The 1969 Mushi Pro Dororo ends up getting terrified in the very next episode upon the realization that Hyakkimaru’s eyes are fake (he admittedly popped his glass eyes out of his head though to scare Dororo away).

The 2019 Mappa version has it that the riverbank monster was apparently one of the 48 demons Hyakkimaru needed to slay in order to regain his body parts, this one giving him back his skin. Hyakkimaru was actually born with his skin in the 1969 Mushi Pro version (as well as in the manga), and the monster was not the first demon he needed to kill but just a run-of-the-mil yokai that awarded him no regenerated body parts. Hyakkimaru actually worded it as "the dead", which have no true shape of their own and just latch onto anything, in this case the garbage in the river--thus making the slime monster we saw. Again I think Mappa was trying to kill two birds with one stone and get the audience acquainted with the series quicker since the general plot is essentially Hyakkimaru slays monster, Hyakkimaru grows back lost body part. This was a good way to streamline things, and it was with a body part that he wasn't missing before so it takes away nothing from later parts of the story.

And this is the biggest difference right here at the end of the episode, Hyakkimaru has yet to talk. He may not be able to speak at all until he’s slain enough demons to get this ability back. The Mappa version has so far seemed to point to Hyakkimaru being mute, deaf and blind, and completely cut off from the world. The Mushi Pro version had Hyakkimaru lack his eyeballs, his mouth, and his ears, but he could still speak and hear (just like in the manga). I always assumed it was just his outer ear missing but he still had all his inner ear like his eardrums, and well, you can talk without lips, so there was that too. The Mappa version seems to fully commit to Hyakkimaru being born without all his senses, and if it’s true it will be a super interesting take on the character to be sure. It will also be hard to pull off considering how much he speaks in the original story; he's a very vocal character, so if it is true, until he regains his ability to speak Dororo has to be the one to carry the duo in conversations entirely now which will lead to major shake-ups in the plot.

What do you think of the newest anime adaptation of Dororo. Are you excited to see the classic come back for modern times? Do you wish it was more like the manga or are you enjoying all these attempts to create something more modern with the source material? Do you think Hyakkimaru will speak in the next episode or do you think he's actually going to start the show as a mute? Are you looking forward to keeping up with this new adaptation of Dororo?

PS - Shout out to Mappa for putting a dog into their first episode that resembles Nota, the mascot character invented for the 1969 Mushi Pro series in a vain attempt to prevent the children that were watching it from being emotionally scarred (it probably didn't). 

[rainelot]

GCF in Saipan- A Rant as of August 2018 (Posted December)

(Out in December since I wanted to get a more objective view on things and to edit it slightly. This is just as a memory record anyways so)

When I made this blog, it was meant to be a blog to rant about anything Bangtan that interested me. However, I recently encountered one of the most frustrating, interesting, and baffling two days of my life and I needed to address the cause of this with a rant (that I doubt people will read). The cause: Jungkook’s GCF in Saipan.

WARNING: THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN. I claim no rights to what is true or not. Don’t take this too seriously please. Will have Koomin/Jikook references.

To start it off, I don’t like real people shipping. I don’t really care if others do it (as long as they remain sane and logical) but I personally didn’t enjoy doing it for one reason: I don’t know them personally, so it isn’t any of my business. I enjoyed their interactions with each other platonically, using what they gave us upfront as fuel, and whatever else that might be happening to purely up to them. For BTS, I never before cared much for shipping, and just enjoyed every interaction as it is.

Then I watched GCF in Saipan, the catalyst to my descent into a brief insanity. What I can say about Saipan is that it is a theorist haven, perhaps why I’ve become so interested now. By “theorist”, I mean NOT REAL, and my opinions should not be taken as fact. These are all just observations that I personally took from the GCFs.

Perhaps what I should say before going into Saipan specifics is that I watched Tokyo in my early days as a fan. I did not know the context of the song, I did not know Jungkook or Jimin well, so I didn’t think much of it. Of course, I acknowledged it was fairly romantic in setting, but I took it to be interpreted either platonically or romantically, and even now I don’t think too much of it. The video itself has a personal meaning to me: reciprocal love, any shape of it available, with little accents and layers that can be tilted and shifted for the viewer’s own interpretation (as all art). I don’t have too much to say about Tokyo itself, because of how straight forward it is. Saipan is the one that makes no sense if I tried to take it in upfront. I’m not very good at reading behaviors, hence my inability to see what others see as “moments”, but I have done some (very unprofessional) editing before and I absolutely love art analyzing, which the GCFs very clearly are to me.

For this, I will be isolating Saipan in a fairly tight bubble, with little unrelated topics. I won’t be including much outside Jungkook’s art (except in the skeptic area). Some previous GCF mentions/comparisons, some outside views strictly on the films as well will be referenced in the rant itself. Not going to include any deep reading into their overall relationship, mostly an analysis of the GCF.

I watched Saipan (at this point after being a fan for long enough to care) first thinking that something was off. Something wasn’t harmonious with each other. The second time I watched it, I realized the dissonance was between the film and the music. Together, it wasn’t coherent, which is different than all of his work so far. Tokyo, Osaka, even USA though being equally promo-related, they all had more to build upon meaning-wise, the perspectives matched within the film. Saipan’s song both in mood and in subject clashed with the film from beginning to end. Of course, all in my opinion.

Here is the song:

Now, before I go any further, I had an intensive discussion with a mutual on twitter, who is a multi-kpop non-BTS stan. She doesn’t keep up with Bangtan, but she likes some of their songs and is a casual listener. She is also somewhat experienced and knowledgeable in video editing and had very interesting input for the factor of “film sound”, the information from a document which she paraphrased. This was her input through the DMs:

“The Pacific Cinematheque has stated that there two types of sound in film, Diegetic and Non-Diegetic. Diegetic is the sound that we would also experience in real life. Non-Diegetic is any sound we don’t experience in real life like dramatic orchestrated songs or musical score or sound effects like the screeches in the shower scene Psycho.”

“So why do directors use sound? Well (and here it comes) it is to do any of the following 1. add mood 2. add atmosphere to a film. How? By adding these soundscapes that Accent or add another Layer of meaning to the film. The filmmaker wants the audience to perceive the scenes in a specific way, and sound/music leg scenes be seen in the specific way that the director intended. Silence in a film can represent something very important or a turning point. Music, specifically in film, has various uses, but most commonly it is used to “guide the emotional response of the audience”. Music is the clue in scenes, it’s like a huge signpost directing (pun cause the filmmaker is a director anyways off track sorry) the audience on how to react to a scene.”

“So basically what I am saying is that of course Jungkook is aware of the music he’s using in his gcfs, and he’s also aware of the reaction he wants from the films. He used that song because he wanted a specific reaction from the audience, he wanted us viewers to see what his intentions are and at this point I’m insane too cause all I’m thinking is that he wants us to react to Jimin and to focus on that.”

(I may or may not have told her multiple times through out my discussion with her that I feel like I’m going insane. I calmed down before writing this though, for the sake of making any sense and neutrality.)

These are just the basics. If you still aren’t convinced how important a song is in context to a film, then remember: before Jungkook even began making the GCFs, he was doing mainly covers of songs. And he said, specifically to the fans, that the lyrics of his chosen songs are important. He usually chooses them for a reason (what that reason could be, up to the viewer, since he doesn’t outright explain the choices).

So we established that first, Jungkook most likely chose this song with actual thought and intention put into it (again, take that intention with what you may).

Of course, what interested me was Jimin’s parts. Mainly because he is my son (even though I am fairly younger than him), and also because of the teaser Jungkook released shortly before dropping Saipan. Truth be told, I wasn’t really expecting the silly dance nor the punches to be included, as I thought that Jungkook only posted that to show Namjoon and the fans what was going on in the “behind the scenes” video Namjoon posted the day before. Perhaps a little blooper insight. So yes, I was surprised that the scene was included at all, much less becoming a gap-clip repeating between alternating clips of the group and other members. I was also surprised at the amount of time Jimin was shown, as after USA being a very equalized group video, I was expecting the same from Saipan. Similarly to USA, it was very work-oriented and promotional, and also both (definitely USA as from Namjoon’s Vlive) were most likely commissioned by Bighit.

Jimin’s dominates the bridge. By dominate, I mean he is the only one with a completely exclusive part in this particular GCF. Verse 1 was Taehyung, verse 2 was Hoseok, and the choruses are a mix. Jimin appears the most not only through adding up all the small clips, but because he takes up two solid blocks of the song, both with the same context and lyrics. The reason why the it’s hard for me to link the others with their individual parts is because of the way they were shot, the clips that were chosen, all very aesthetically pleasing but difficult to find depth or flow in. Jimin’s parts almost had a story line. This is important to me because of the lyrics, which we shall visit now.

First the meaning of the song. John K. in an interview: He describes the bouncy track’s meaning as “[about] evolving through young love, admitting to past mistakes and committing to giving someone the best possible version of yourself.”

To be honest, this song is not as ambiguous to me as There For You, Troye Sivan, Tokyo GCF. Sure, Troye Sivan is a gay artist, and the song lyrics are directed at a boy. But the lyrics themselves I do think can be taken in any shape of love. For Best of Me, this is not the case. I think Verse 2 is the clearest reason for this:

Waking up next to you

Got you back in my arms

Don't it feel like it use to

Like we were never apart

Never thought I would see you

Now we're loving in the dark

We can't fight this feeling

While I’m a staunch believer in lyrics being universally interpreted and available to all versions of personal view (take Osaka as an example, which is another fairly straightforward GCF), to make it simpler for myself right now and with the tinfoil hat on, I’ll stick with what the song can be most basically understood: lovers who are loving in secret, but wants to be let free.

Here comes a bit tinfoil (not really shippy, but more reading into what it could mean artistically. Purely subjective interpretation):

Now, without going into the ship or anything at all first, here is my artistic interpretation of Jungkook’s editing: the lyrics may be directed at Jimin, but I personally can also intemperate that Jimin in the video embodies the lyrics, or the lyrics embody Jimin in the video. Either way works for me. This is interpretation in the same way people interpret the smile of Mona Lisa (purely individualistic), and it doesn’t rely too much on Jungkook’s true intentions here. Again, I don’t claim any of this as the true meaning, as to me there is no true meaning needed for me.

In the video, Jimin shows the rawest actions. He barely pays attention to the camera half of the time, and when he does, it’s for the sake of the cameraman (Jungkook). This can be seen when in the second bridge part, he shows Jungkook his own camera just off screen, and during the second chorus, he high-fives Jungkook, just off screen once more. I believe Jungkook also chose these parts intentionally, especially the sneeze during the second bridge that he zoomed in on. No matter if the purpose was just to clown Jimin (also possible), it still leads an interesting narrative for me (I know I repeated this multiple times, but no, this may not be the intentions of Jungkook, and it is my own view on it as an art form). The lyrics “I don’t wanna hide no more” building up to “Imma let you get the best of me” was in sync with the way how Jimin bursts from a serious expression into a silly dance, with the silliness continuing later after the chorus and verse 2 into the second bridge. He is true to his actions, letting go of inhibition, essentially not hiding, lying, nor acting anymore. All genuine, silly, honest moments, such as the sneezing, the off camera action, etc.

The editing for the dance part is interesting too. As I said before, I wasn’t expecting it, so it was interesting when it seemed Jungkook added a separate track and layered other clips on top of the silly dancing. This one might be a bit of a stretch, but I can see it like the clips of the groups randomly were “hiding” the silly dancing. No particular meaning needed really, just a technique used in editing that, to me, matches the lyrics in an unintended way. Those were just my thoughts when considering the possibilities of the lyrics, and the visual is pretty cool in the narration. I know from experience that it’s much easier to layer clips (BTS eating) over a longer clip (Jimin dancing) rather than cut them individually to fit around each other. So that’s just a neat observation lol. 

Artistically speaking, Jimin is the only solid narrative and character within the video because there seems to be an actual correlation between the actions he does chronologically with the lyrics given for him. I find it interesting how he and the lyrics embody each other as the video went on. Again, my personal take on a work of art.

Now here’s the ultimate tinfoil-kinda-shippy part of my post. ALL PURE SPECULATION.

This video can be conceptually all about the “hidden”. Looking at this as a GCF, in comparison to his two earliest works, it is a lot more promotional, like USA (I actually have some thoughts on USA and Bangtan as well, and may think about writing a post for it. It’s not gonna be as bad as this one though).

Perspective of GCFs before Saipan:

Onto the subject of music perspectives, Jungkook so far as established a trend of using the perspective within the songs to be directed at the people starring in it, most noticeably in Osaka, with the way the lyrics were directed/about either Jimin or Taehyung’s roles/characters in the film from a first person perspective speaking. Tokyo as well with the last few lines of “running running just to keep my hands upon you”, showing the camera in the perspective of being behind Jimin as he got farther away with the first person pronoun. USA with the “we” point of view, which is then including the film’s perspective as part of the “we”, especially noticed when Jungkook goes to shake Zedd’s hand. I assume then that Jungkook uses the music choices as a way to direct to the people or to include himself in it at some points, rather than being a passive outside third person view. Now that GCF in Newark is out, that is even more obvious, though I also find Newark to be a diverging path in his medium exploration, so the perspective is more centered around himself rather than those around him. GCF in Saipan was made with the same format as those before it so my thoughts on its techniques are the same (I will be ignoring Newark for now since it’s format is so radically different, as well as the fact that its creation doesn’t affect his previous works).

This is important in the case of Saipan being very dissonant with the the perspectives of the film and of the song. Beyond my personal artistic perspective above (which, in my interpretation, I believe is another layer to the narrative, as multiple meanings within art is always the best). Say that the lyrics are from the point of view of the camera as a character in the film (Jungkook), which so far it has been for most of the GCFs. USA’s perspective made sense in that it was a group song, and it’s about a "we”, including Jungkook, reminiscing the old days. Generally equalized screen-time for each member, first person plural perspective, you get it. Sure, the tone and mood of it was off, but at least the perspective made sense. Saipan’s perspective and mood both don’t make sense. As a whole, Best of Me as a song choice doesn’t make much sense, given the perspective of it. Very different to USA, which I previously thought Saipan was going to emulate for reasons already stated.

Saipan is biased to Jimin based on the film and lyric placement, as previously stated, and so narrative-wise, it is also Jimin-biased. The song choice itself is also strange in that Saipan’s song is very clearly not a group song. It is a song with a “me” and a “you”. During the bridges, it’s even more clear how the “me” and “you” works. With the camera being the perspective, the “me” is the singer speaking, and the “you” (if we base this off of how Jungkook’s use of perspective works thus far) is directed at whoever is on screen. The same way Tokyo was directed at Jimin, and in Osaka, Jimin and Taehyung appeared whenever the lyrics were directed at them (Taehyung appearing at “he’s taking your side of the bed” so he is the subject of the “you” in that set of lyrics, similar to how “running running just to keep my hands upon you” in Tokyo, the “you” was Jimin. Again, Jungkook uses the camera as part of the narrative, hence the use of communication between camera and “actor”).

Well, you may ask, why isn’t anyone else’s part in the going to be the same? Especially Hoseok’s part, which to be honest, I’m surprised no one mentioned much? They mentioned how the song had questionably romantic lyrics, and everyone freaked out about how beautiful Hobi was in the video (same though) but his part coincided with those questionable lyrics I mentioned earlier. Why doesn’t that indicate Jungkook proclaiming his undying love for Hobi? Well, the main reason is most likely “selective context”. That part by itself could allude to that, but as a whole, the film focused on someone else. So this is an example of taking parts of something to make a different whole. That’s why the structure of Saipan felt different than those before it. Tokyo was linear, Osaka was alternating between two, USA was group, and Saipan is... weird.

So, during the bridges, the “me” is the “I don’t wanna hide no more, I don’t wanna lie no more” and the “you” is “’cause what I found in you is so real”. Depending on who the camera’s perspective is, this can be taken in many different ways. However, USA makes me believe that the camera itself is really Jungkook (as I always assumed so) and not the fans, a third person, etc. If the “me” is Jungkook, and the “you” is Jimin -  well, I did sort of lose my sanity for two whole days.

In short, for an entire two days I was convinced Jungkook was in love with Jimin or at least had some sort of romantic connection with him in some way. Not that they were in a relationship, I was feeling something much too sudden for me to give it labels, and much too isolated to consider any “big picture”. And I felt like I was going insane because of how out of the blue my own reaction was. As I said before, I’m no shipper. So it was shocking and a little terrifying when I was so convinced. (I am calmer now, and have a relatively more neutral stance on the pairing once more, thankfully).

The main reason why I was so convinced previously was because of one reason: with input from my perspective analysis, I believe the GCFs are from Jungkook’s point of view (as we all believe). With the song choice and the clips chosen, it was a surprise to me when I thought about the film more carefully. I don’t ship BTS because to me, those are outside opinions on what’s happening, behavioral analysis videos, coincidence theories, etc. Sure, they can be interesting, sometimes cute, but I don’t see any need to support or pay too much mind to it. With GCFs, it was different because this was not outside perspective. This was Jungkook. This was his video, that he filmed and edited and spent time on. Like with his covers, as he had told us before, they (could) have meaning. They (could) tell a story, that may change the way you view his work. So what exactly could he be trying to tell us has been interesting for me to interpret. Of course, I still don’t think it matters much to have an absolute “True Meaning” unless he gives out one, and even then, art is appreciated in many ways, with so many facets and personal subjective connections. I don’t think I’m right, just that it’s what I perceived. And for me, it took me off guard how disconnected from the rest of the film the bridges were. They were so different in mood, in style, the bias, the commutative narrative going on. I couldn’t understand what Jungkook was saying, unlike all GCFs previous where it felt more coherent and I could at least somewhat figure out his message. And while perhaps Saipan simply doesn’t have a message, that’s hard to believe with this ongoing narrative.

This basically comes down to the opposing ideals in my mind. On one hand, I would hate to assume anything about someone I don’t actually know, especially when it’s something so personal and not-my-business. On the other hand, I would hate to dismiss anything that could be meaningful from an artist who put a lot of thought and handwork into a project of their’s. Something my art teacher of four years told me before “don’t be scared of being wrong about reading into an artwork, because they want you to see the things you are seeing”. Perhaps it’s all on purpose without any personal meaning? Maybe. I’ll stick with the “meaningful narrative but not necessarily romantic” for my own safety.

Who knows? Here’s some counterclaims to cheer you up and help me regain sanity.

Speculative counterarguments with responses and more doubt and speculation (my irl friend helped to come up with some of them, just in case):

Counterclaim:The song is meant to be taken platonically, with more focus on literal meaning on the chorus parts “Imma let you get the best of me”, aimed at either the members or at the fans. The song may also be promotional due to it having the same name as one of their own song. This means the entire video was focused more on promo (like the end “Summer Package” text).

Response: Jungkook does care about lyrics, and even with promo possibly being the main focus (which I do think it is a big part of it), I don’t think he will choose a song with the same name at random. However, it is possible he wanted to choose a song with the same name (promo, personal reason, who knows) and also thought the lyrics applied minimally (and liked it musically). As I said before, I am a big “lyrics can mean anything” person, so taking romantic lyrics and using them for platonic or other situations is something I can see happening. So yeah. This is definitely possible.

Counterclaim: Jimin is focused on for the bridge part because of the lyrics “I don’t wanna lie no more” tying to his “Lie” solo from Wings (my friend is the one who came up with this one)

Response: This one I find there is a low possibility of. Mostly because even if that was the case, why would Jimin dominate the entire bridge, including the other lyrics? Jungkook could have easily edited in other members, like the mixture he does for the verses and especially the choruses. Just put in a little shot of Jimin at the lie part and move on. So, this is unlikely (along with the fact that I really doubt Jungkook chooses songs and clips based on that) Which leads to the next counter:

Counterclaim: Jungkook very simply enjoys filming Jimin most, due to familiarity and Jimin being more comfortable with it. He’s at the bridges for content symmetry and also because there were simply more footage of him because of ease and accumulation. He sees Jimin as a very fun and goofy person, so he used the funny clips. There is no deeper meaning behind Jimin’s shots.

Response: Sure, I guess. This comes down to “how personal are the GCFs for Jungkook?”, which I would personally say very much so but I digress. They’ve already proven that Jungkook enjoys pointing the camera Jimin a lot in recent interviews (5th army mainly). I still think the most questionable parts of the video was how Jimin was singled out at the bridge parts and what the lyrics could possibly mean along with that, but I won’t rule this one out for the sake of accumulating other possibilities, no matter how much I believe in Jungkook’s artistic vision and my innate enjoyment in getting random meanings out of everything for fun. Again, platonic intention is possible to me. You may disagree, and that’s completely fine. I’m still neutral about this, because hey, anything is possible. So don’t get too carried away.

Counterclaim: So what about Osaka, if you consider the lyrics literally? Does that mean Taehyung, Jimin, and Junkook are in a love triangle?

Response: Honestly, I would like to do a personal analysis of Osaka in a separate post in the future (if I have time). Here’s a taste of what I think of it in a shorter answer to Osaka in general: it is actually possibly my favorite GCF, reasons being that I adore the the little no-music cuts Jungkook did, and also because Vmin is one of my favorite relationships in Bangtan. Due to sentimental reasons, Vmin has a very special place to my heart. Osaka feeds that part of my soul I suppose. Now, about the lyrics and the supposed love training happening, the thing is that Osaka is very different from Saipan in terms of use of perspective, use of cuts, screen time, etc. Personally, I see Osaka as a film about the maknae-line as a whole, with a smidgen of Jimin-bias. I don’t see the film about a love triangle, especially not a romantic one. Hope I can make a separate post detailing this.

Now that I’m done, I want people to not overthink it too much (unlike me). Of course, Saipan for me personally was just incredibly interesting because of how off and strange it felt to me in comparison to the other GCFs, but in regards to shipping, don’t invest too much emotionally. Enjoy what you get from all members, get attached to a pair maybe. But don’t let it completely take over your life. I like the speculative agnostic approach best (similar to my favorite blogger in regards to KM). Sure, Saipan had me go insane for two days straight out of the blue, but coming down from the insanity was a learning experience, especially returning to my neutral stance, which I enjoy greatly.

Making this more clear once again: this is not a post exposing Jungkook or anything. I do not claim any of this as his real thoughts. In fact, I don’t even believe any of what I’ve interpreted entirely. Those to me are “possibilities” to be thought, but not to be declared as truth. I think I’m probably wrong about a lot of this. Since again, why else do people still question what exactly Mona Lisa was smiling so mysteriously about? (she knows something we don’t, as the critics say).

If you want a more impartial opinion on GCF in Saipan, I recommend this director's outlook. I recommend using a non-biased mind to read this non-biased outlook. It is very interesting by itself as a professional's opinion. Please do not take the post as fodder for ships nor the definitive meaning of Saipan (if there even was one, who knows). We will never know for sure unless Jungkook ever decided to explain it if he wishes to. And if he never does, that’s fine too. Distinguishing what is reality, what is our reality, and what is someone else’s reality is extremely important.

Thanks for reading if you did! Hope it wasn’t the most awful thing ever. Tell me what you think about my interpretation, my opinions, counterarguments and counter-counterarguments. I do like KM as a ship now in some way, but again, all in good fun, and I don’t really want to give the relationship any labels. I don’t really want to take any of this too far other than a long rant to let out some parallel universe thoughts.

This was made also before I really got into any KM speculation, and it’s all very interesting. But I currently don’t really want to form a solid opinion on anything, or read too deeply. Maybe I will, one day. Or not. Since like I said, I’m not good at reading people.

It’s very likely no one will even see this, but as a personal record of my thoughts, it feels good to put them down.

💦 ☔💦

[theatredirectors]

Jake Beckhard

Hometown?

Vienna, VA - outside of Washington, DC. Bureaucrat country.

Where are you now? 

New York City - specifically, Harlem.

What's your current project?

The playwright Jack Gilbert and I are developing Severance - a sci-fi thriller about a team of astronauts trapped on a space station after the end of the world. It's got some Sunshine in it and some Alien and some Moon but mostly it's got Jack's big beautiful brain.

Why and how did you get into theatre?

When I was a kid, road trips meant the Les Miserables 1987 OBC recording. I knew every note by the time I was ten, which was around the time we went to see a touring production at the National Theatre in DC. This is not a new story, you've heard it a million times. I got involved in middle and high school theatre, but it was always a hobby more than a passion. And then, completing the flat circle of time, I was hired to join the Teen Ensemble (very chic) of a touring Les Miserables. I spoke to some of the equity actors in the tour and they encouraged me to audition for schools, which I did, and to take an acceptance to a conservatory as a sign that there might be room for me in the industry. Terrible advice. I wasn't a director until I realized at acting school that I had started to hate acting. Thank God, when I made the switch the people in my program gave me a few low-stakes directing opportunities to learn what it was I cared about. 

What is your directing dream project? 

I am currently in the throes of a passionate love affair with Greek tragedy. I spent the summer directing an Ajax adaptation and am nursing some really exciting other projects, including a Women of Trachis performed in an antiquities museum. But my current burning desire is to stage an adaptation of Hippoytus, the Phaedra myth, set in 2005 or so at the sort of dawn of the iTunes Era in suburban America. I've gotten fixated on this image of lovesick Phaedra hunched at a desktop and the song "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak with 600 or so plays on iTunes. Hippolytus' Myspace page, a thick, weird Web 2.0 aesthetic in projections and remix/glitching in sound design to dig into desire and its relationship to The Internet & digital media. How we drive ourselves crazy by falling in love through a screen. I've got the rapper/digital artist LNZ on board (check out her visual album) and playwright Sofya Levitsky-Weitz is interested in writing the adaptation. So: if you're a weirdo who wants to see the Greeks filtered through an Internet Explorer browser, and you've got a venue, well, I'm here.

What kind of theatre excites you? 

I love a theatrical experience that allows you, the individual in the audience, to experience your own enormity. I think it's one thing that's really fabulous about musical theatre, is that it's fundamentally an endorsement of the enormity of your emotional experience and of the things that happen to you and the things you happen to other people. Greek theatre is this too - plays that are full expressions of the consequence of actions. Joy and tragedy both. The same thing that excites me about Orestes is what excites me about Come From Away - people reckoning at the very edge of themselves with the profundity of their actions and consequences. I think when you see that, you get a little access to your own enormity. That's what gets me talking about the play and not the production - that feeling that I'm too full of what I've seen to keep from talking about it nonstop with whoever's nearest.

What do you want to change about theatre today? 

Okay, a few things:

1) I think we could do a lot more to strengthen the intra-national pipeline to production. There are some theatres rising to the challenge of joining the ranks of regional new play incubators. The Ashland New Plays Festival in the Northwest, Flying V in the DC area. There's more opportunity for cross-pollination than there's ever been - I think we should be looking to formalize the relationships that allow that cross-pollination to graduate to more premiere productions for playwrights rather than the first-past-the-post trickle-down system that we see with regionals sparring to regionally premiere popular New York premieres. Regional theatres can lean more on these national aggregates of new plays, and those aggregators can access the thriving community theatre movement in this country to make regional pipelines truly regional and truly grassroots. 2) I'd like to see theatres plug back into becoming community centers. I wonder what a theatre looks like that deemphasizes the season as part of their season - what else can an institutional program in addition to or even separate from its season that serves its community? This is what church is - the backbone of a church is Sunday services but churches are full of people in need every day of the week. Those programs aren't designed to get more people in the pews on Sunday - they're designed to provide a service to the community that the community requires from a trusted institution. Institutional theaters can take a note. Program to support your community, not your season, and the season will see more good faith commitment from the community as well.

3) There is a huge vacuum in the american theatre scene for director-driven work. I dare an off-broadway company to program and promote a season around directors. Commission directors to lead a season of new works - including new plays by playwrights if you want! Or what if an artistic director programmed a classical theatre season in conjunction with the directors they wanted to hire! There is so much untapped dramaturgical skill and inspiration in the directing community. And it's not even necessarily an avant-garde strategy! Director-driven work can be hella accessible. Some theatre sometime soon is going to be bold enough to put the freelance director at the center of their work. What is your opinion on getting a directing MFA? 

So my spiel on this is: when I got a fine arts degree in acting, by the time I was done I hated acting. I think it has to do with my relationship to authority in an academic context, or maybe with the idea that your journey is being copiloted as long as you're in a program like that. And my trouble is, I love being a director so much. It's given me a sense of focus and perspective I never knew I needed. It's shaped my life. And if going to an MFA program puts that at risk, it's not something I'm interested in. But obviously that's not a diagnosis I'd make for anyone but me. That having been said, I love teaching and I'd like to be able to do it in universities down the line - so if I can get an MFA online, or like, from University of Phoenix? I could be down for that.

Who are your theatrical heroes? 

Robert Wilson. August Wilson. Molly Smith, who bought literal dozens of seats from a foreclosed porn theater and drove them from California to Alaska to found the Perseverance. And also Zelda Fitchandler, for everything she did. Wallace Shawn, who is an American prophet. Maria Goyanes. Lear DeBessonet. People who said "I am the canon now. I am not asking for permission." 

Any advice for directors just starting out? 

One thing I wish I'd known when I was getting started assisting is how much you can get out of meeting and working for young directors who are doing things that excite you, rather than applying for every single institutional fellowship where you're assigned to directors who don't know you or mentored by directors who are several generations ahead of you. There's value in those programs and some of my favorite people I know I know because of those cross-generational relationships, but there is absolutely no comparison when it comes to working on material you love, being allowed actual artistic opportunities as an assistant director in a rehearsal process, and ultimately being recommended for jobs you might actually get. Assist young directors, because you will be eligible for the jobs they outgrow.

Plugs!

Severance isn't on sale yet, but we've got a workshop production at the Tank from Jan 23-26. Mark it in your calendars!I'm also directing Lily Houghton's blockbuster Serial Coconut Oil Solves All My Problems at the Flea this December. Lily and I have taken it from pilot to finale and it's sort of caught fire, which I'm really grateful for. That's the first two weekends in December at the Flea downtown.

And I'm directing for West of 10th's weird little Mad Libs Festival on Thursday Dec. 6th! So come out to support a great new-plays theatre company and see some really terrific artists making quick-turnaround theatre.

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Italia episode 6 reaction

The Skam Italia team needs to set up an IG for Margot, run by Silvia.

Clip 1 - Eva and Martino

The setting is really incredible. Let’s appreciate how gorgeous Rome is.

Aside from Martino making fun of Eva’s friends, I like him as a character. I guess a lot of people don’t going off the comments for the videos? I think he has a friendly personality and these scenes with Eva have been some of the better parts of this remake. (Part of me is glad he’s the Isak, part of me wonders why they didn’t cast him as Gio. No offense to Gio’s actor or anything, I’m just feeling the Eva-Martino dynamic more. Though I heard that those two actors have known each other IRL since they were kids? I can see that they’re comfy with each other.)

A cat house is a great gift for Silvia! Eva is so thoughtful. I have been wondering if I should get one of those for my cats, but I suspect they would probably ignore it, or pee on it and then ignore it.

I would ship the hell out of Eva and Martino if I had no knowledge of this storyline. He’s adorable putting on the shark cat habitat and trying to make her laugh. It’s going to be such a downer what that thing happens. I can imagine that for viewers who haven’t seen Skam, it’s going to be a big shock.

“What would you do?” "You can’t ask me that, Gio and I are practically brothers” looooooool

Clip 2 -  Sneeze

“How can you tell if he came?” Oh my God. Someone educate this poor girl.

I really feel Eleonora’s frustration. Like it’s hard to demonize Silvia because I’d say it’s also Edoardo’s fault for being the experienced one and not using a condom, but the fact that they went to the clinic and everything is so aggravating. Because you want to protect your naive friend and keep anything drastic from happening, and it’s disheartening when you go to the lengths with her to protect herself and still it amounts to nothing.

Out of curiosity, how seriously do we take Vilde/Silvia’s comparison of an orgasm to a sneeze? Did she have an orgasm and that’s a naive girl’s way of describing it, or did she not come? It doesn’t make that much of a difference except perhaps how much effort William/Edoardo put into her enjoyment. 

Not even gonna lie, Edoardo has been my favorite William. I thought his hookup with Silvia and his meeting at Eva’s place was charming. So I’m predicting that they’ll make him the biggest asshole yet, sigh.

Awww, I love that Sana got a car. And what a moment of inviting Silvia when Silvia’s all “there’s no room for me” - Sana is truly a stand-up person, considering some of the awful things Silvia has said to her. And she didn’t know it, but it was at a moment when Silvia really needed some cheering up. They’re doing a nice job with the girl squad.

I read somewhere in the tag that the rapper they’re listening to is Muslim, so that’s a nice touch.

Instead of Edoardo getting out of his car in slow motion, let the girls pile out of this car with the wind blowing through their hair.

Clip 3 - Are you breaking up with me?

Again, the scenery and cinematography are gorgeous.

The music and acting got a little too soapy and DRAMAAAAA for me, although a lot of people liked it judging from the comments on the scene. I think I prefer this scene to be more understated because it’s not the lowest of the lows and it’s not the resolution of this conflict; it’s a temporary peace. Things are about to come to light in just a few scenes. 

Also because Giovanni is like ... not showing much hesitation/vulnerability in his lies, IMO, he’s fully committed to them. It works better for me when we can see this character faltering, because if he seems to have total conviction in his lies and is telling her she’s the crazy paranoid one, that ups the asshole factor. And well, because this would be a big romantic gesture, except I’m not feeling him and Eva as a couple.

I do like that they pulled away so we can’t hear their conversation, although I didn’t get the sense of a truce as much as I have previously.

But goddamn, look at that city. Major props to the production team for making the most of the setting.

Clip 4 - Are you stupid?

Silvia loving her cat house gift and showing her friends video of Margot playing with it … A+ quality content. I love this friendship squad.

I can think of what Federico wants for his birthday, Eva. Hmmmm.

Actually I would just get him a cat house to see his reaction. Seems like a crowd-pleaser.

That’s pretty interesting that Sana thought Silvia knew Edoardo was an asshole and she just wanted the D. 

They didn’t have the bit about guys only acting nice when they’re guilty or want to get laid - this conversation is strictly about Edoardo - so there’s not the connection between Eva’s situation with Giovanni and her mounting paranoia after they’ve just made up.

Clip 5 - Fancy party

That looks like one fun, aesthetically pleasing party. Good job, Federico.

Gio offers to go to the party if Eva wants, so a point in his favor.

Well on the one hand, Gio was a shady fucker up to now, so I can get why Eva has lingering suspicion. On the other, we didn’t get the bit from Sana about boys only being nice when they want something/are guilty, so it’s a little murky why Eva chooses now, after she’s made up with Gio, to go confront Laura. I guess Laura swinging away was just too much.

Despite his earlier and future sleaziness, Federico does a good job of being comforting when Eva is upset.

Here’s one thing I don’t quite buy, though - if this is Federico’s party, would Eva really not have noticed his girlfriend? Honestly, even in the other versions of this story, it’s a stretch that Eva wouldn’t know the super popular guy who she’s “stalking” has a girlfriend, and for that girlfriend never to be around him at parties, but I guess I can see it? But if this is Federico’s party, and all eyes are going to be on him - people will be making toasts and giving him gifts and stuff - wouldn’t it be easier to notice Alice possibly hanging around him and acting couple-y with him? People pointing her out? It’s not impossible or anything, they could have kept their distance at the party, just a little harder for me to accept.

At least Alice suspects what’s up, you can tell when she comes in. She almost seems too savvy to fall for her boyfriend’s BS.

Alice: “I’m gonna give you three free drinks and introduce you to two older friends of mine” Hell yeah, best Iben yet!

Aww, this Eva is really a sweet person. She wanted to accompany Silvia home once she saw the Edorado/random girl makeout session.

Wait, was that just an accidental eye lock, or was Silvia going to hook up with that other guy? The one with the thick eyebrows? Listen, I can see that going very poorly, and I don’t want Silvia to do something she doesn’t want, but if she can be with someone other than Edoardo in a good way? Yes please. Seize the day. (What if that’s Italian Magnus?)

Ahhh, I can’t believe Gio is just smoking weed. That’s so underwhelming! Eva already knew that he smoked weed. She didn’t approve but like … is this going to be that surprising even if he told her he stopped?

Not to mention he actually left her at the cabin to go smoke! There’s a huge difference between bringing the weed with you and leaving the cabin overnight in order to get high. WTF.

The backstory of her almost breaking up with him previously because he had smoked weed makes him even dumber. I guess I can see why he really didn’t want to tell her but ... I mean,, it’s anybody’s take on whether that was an extreme reaction on Eva’s part or not, but Gio knew this was something that was breakup-worthy to her, and he did it anyway, like ... whatever, Gio.

“What hurts is knowing you don’t trust me.” You were lying to her, dude. Repeatedly. Even when she confronted you about those lies. She has good reason to not trust you. At least he knows he has to earn her trust again.

Good choice to end on Eva crying.

General Comments:

Yeah, not to repeat myself too much, but Skam Italia has done a solid job with the girl squad and the Eva-Martino relationship, but the Eva/Giovanni ship is lacking for me.

Her acting can be shaky on a technical level, if that’s what you want to call it, but the Eva actress has made her very likable, very endearing. The writing has also given her extra moments where she’s very compassionate and considerate of her friends. 

Disappointed that Gio’s secret wasn’t something else but at least we can move on from that part of the story.

I don’t speak Italian, so if I misunderstood something or missed the context, feel free to correct me or elaborate.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[llawlietofficial]

my stream of consciousness during death note (2017)

So I finally watched this shit show last night, and kept a running document of every thought I had in order. Here are some of the top ones: (under the cut because....it gets a little long. it’s worth it though!) 

okay so first of all what the fuck is this opening song. 

LOSER LIGHT GETS PAID TO DO PEOPLES HOMEWOEK. 

Wow I wish I was as cool as goth head cheerleader Misa Mia

Ooh look at that chemistry

Light looks like a failed wannabe white guy kpop star

Someone gif those opening "death note" letters please

What's with the fucking illuminati symbols on the book ??

Rain makes everything more symbolic I can't believe the creativity of their choices

Aw he's seeing a girl get bullied OF COURSE that's motivation enough to kill

I can't believe Light is a feminist icon stepping in to save Misa Mia like that.

Oh god his whole speech about “technically you bullying me is child abuse” needs to be a copypasta. Someone needs to slap that kid.

SOMEONE JUST SLAPPED THAT KID.

Why does his voice sound like that

Why does his face look like that

Why does he have frosted tips

I can't believe Light is the loser loner pining after the head cheerleader with a girlfriend.

Light is ?? A troublemaker ???

Why is the death note so crusty looking

Marbles.

LIGHT'S SCREAMS MAKE ME SCREAM I want that as my ringtone

"Shall we begin." Wow I love Star Trek Into Darkness.

"Some 8 foot tall demon looking motherfucker" is honestly the best possible description of Ryuk so at least they got that one right.

RIP Light's first victim, Kenny Doyle. You will be missed. 

This Bitch chooses one of the most violent possible deaths for his first victim ???? But canon light didn't like. Start out wanting to cause his victims physical pain. He's not a sadist he's a moral janitor. 

CANON LIGHT WOULD HAVE THOUGHT CHEATING WAS A BIG DEAL !! HE WOULD HAVE KILLED PEOPLE LIKE HIMSELF !!

Oh my god he's so angsty just get a fucking diary.....wait...

Wow I love blatant exposition dropping. I wonder how many times him and his dad have had that exact same conversation over dinner conveniently explained Light's tragic backstory. 

Because this is America. You can't kill people without a tragic backstory (if you're white)

Is he going to scream like that every time Ryuk shows up?

"Your fingers are huge." Hmm? Why do you care about that, Light? Unless you have something you want to share with the class? 

I can't believe they changed Ryuk's motivation that's like everything about him as a character. He didn’t say he was bored like, a single time in this whole series what’s the point. 

He has a whole file on his tragic backstory that he keeps laying around in his room this is next level bullshit.

JESUS FUCKINF CHRIST LIGHT WHAT HAPPENED TO SIMPLE HEART ATTACKS

He. Impaled himself. On a steak knife.

Light's mom was a hippie !!!!!

I can't believe Light's motivation is "karma's a bitch" what an icon. 

I can't believe Misa Mia’s turned on by murder.

Actually. I can believe that.

Light's just. Carrying around the death note right in the open.

"I can't tell you” *brief pause* “so you really want to know?" BITCH YOU EIDN'T EVEN LET HER ANSWER. SHE SEEMED SO UNINTERESTED ANYWAY. WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS COMPULSIVE NEED TO CONFESS THAT YOU’RE A MURDERER! 

LIght wants pussy that bad.

"Your poetry sucks" okay I actually kind of like that line, Misa Mia’s a snarky bitch like she deserves to be. 

She looks bored. Light she doesn't want part of your murder fest !! you don't have to confess so often !! 

as soon as the police swat car hit that guy my friend turned to me and said "when you're a police officer but still text and drive"

Ooh blurry lights that's an edgy cinnamon topography choice.

I don’t like how everyone in this movie is all mumbling.

How many people are going to make mood boards out of the scene where Light and Misa Mia are leaning against that neon sign???

"Do you think I'm crazy?" "If anything I think you're not crazy enough" wow I love the joker and harley quinn!! normal is just a setting on the dryer~~~ rawr

TEHY'RE POST MURDER FUCKING

I said out loud "I can't believe they're going to post murder fuck" and my friend said "But you'd think that was kinky in high school" and i said "hell I think that's kinky now" why am i like this

I can't believe this whole murder fuck montage. They're so cute and in love. My friend just said “relationship goals” and i want to turn off this movie.

Is that Beastly in their school library????

"What they want is a god." 

Okay actually I can see Light getting off on talking about he's a god while fucking. I've read enough fanfiction to prepare me for that scene.

Why does he look like that??

I just love that "Kira saves" graffiti

Why did Kira kill 11 people in a nightclub what did they do ? so serial cheating for money is okay but getting drunk and having sex isn’t?? alright Light. 

L looks like a serial killer with the mask and the hoodie and the dead bodies and I’m.......not loving the look

WATARI ISN'T EVEN JAPANESE. THAT'S NOT EVEN HIS NAME. WHY IS THE ONLY JAPANESE ACTOR THE ONLY CHARACTER CANONICALLY NOT JAPANESE. 

I appreciate his continued sweets addiction though. He is. The only good thing in this movie.

Is he singing wizard of oz what the fu k is happening in this movie

Why do they all talk so quiet

the most inaccurate thing that’s happened so far is actually L taking a nap

Could Light act....a little LESS blatantly on Kira's side????

Detective James Turner.

Honestly this movie is just......boring.

I feel like the voices are at a much lower volume than the music and it’s just...bad

How does he know Kira's in Seattle ??? Is this explained or did I just miss it ???

"What would you do if some guy fucked me?" "I’d kill him." Wow I love this scene in Baby Driver.

I want that furniture. 

Oh I get it. His voice is muffled because of that fucking face mask. 

"Rest your glutes" 

All the things they could have kept and they kept L and Watari giving Light's dad ice cream?

Okay we see Light and Misa at school all the time, but are they ever ??? In class ??

OF COURSE L IMMEDIATELY GOES ON NATIONAL TV

L in a big black hoodie with the big American flag waving in the background is exactly what I expected out of this adaptation.

Light telling Ryuk to shut the fuck up is something I imagined hundreds of times in the anime but never thought I would be lucky enough to see on screen. 

"Besides I think you can tell when you're sitting across from a killer like Kira." HAHAHAHAHA WOW I LOVE THIS DRAMATIC IRONY !!

Light is smart. We know this because we keep saying how smart he is. It doesn’t matter that he’s not making any smart decisions. We said he’s smart so he is. 

I can't believe it's dark outside and they're both wearing sunglasses. You know who wears sunglasses indoors? Douche bags. And blind people.

Ooh Misa Mia doesn't want to pop popcorn and murder a few people there's gotta be trouble in Hollywood romance paradise

I hate the music choices in this movie. a lot. 

"There are no sides. Only the game.” what. 

I can believe Misa Mia’s casually watching torture porn on tv

WHY IS LIGHT'S DAD BASICALLY COMMITTING SUICIDE BY ANNOUNCINF HIS NAME AND HAVINF A PRESS CONFERENCE AND WHY DOES HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE THAT. there's a difference between not being afraid and being a fucking idiot !!! 

I can't believe Light just admitted to not being the good guys anymore.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MISA MIA IS LIGHT ???

Light needs to put his dick away. He really needs to put his dick away.

The cafe scene is really aesthetically pleasing and I hate it. 

"I don't do check, Light, only checkmate" FUUUUCK. 

IS THIS HOe FUXKING ADMITTING ?? THIS DUMB HOE IS ADMITTING TO BEING A SERIAL MURDERER AND ASKING L TO JOIN HIM THIS IS. A SHITTY FANFICTION. WHY IS HE SO DUMB. WHY DOES HE CONFESS TO WVERYONE HE TALKS TO.

Is Light going to get back with her just because she said I love you  ?? LIGHT SHE TRIED TO KILL UR DAD respect yourself !! 

Watari isn't his real name ????  Also what's the point leaving him alive? Free ice cream? Jesus light.

Why do they say Kira with the accent if it's not Japanese ?

L is.....coming slightly unhinged.....he seems.... to have a lot more anger issues that he needs to work through.

LIGHT IN A TOP HAT. I can't believe they're going to this dance. 

I just said "At a certain point it's not even entertaining anymore. It's just pathetic." and my friend, who is now drunk, said "I'm still pretty entertained but maybe it's because I'm drunk."

I can't believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. 

Actually. I can believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. Also I saw the illuminati symbol like five times in that house so what's the truth????

HE DOES HAVE A NORMAL PEOPLE SCARE ME STICKER IN HIS LOCKER I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN EDIT.

Lmao I can't believe Misa Mia was the real mastermind the whole time. "You don't get to feel morally superior for being a pussy." OH SHIT. Oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead.

also L needs to calm the fuck down. Do they not teach you how to drive in the orphanage?

I don't know just what happened with that store owner attacking the armed black man assaulting the teenager in an alley way but it felt racist.

Light is desperate and pathetic. Has he made....a single smart decision?

"JESUS TAKE THE FERRIS WHEEL!!! TAKE IT FROM MY HAND !!!"

Chicago's I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love? Are you fucking kidding me?

At least Misa Mia died how she lived. Aesthetically pleasing. 

What the fuck is even happening in this movie. HE CONFESSED TO HIS DAD TOO. 

"I thought I was going to kill all the bad guys and re good guys would win but it wasn't like that" OH LOOK !! CONVENIENTLY A MORAL !!

and in the end, the white loner character who develops a god complex and goes on a murderous rampage killing hundreds of people and declaring himself god.....gets away with it......but at least he learned a valuable lesson about the nature of good and evil !!!! 

anyway those are my thoughts I hope you liked them !!

[ladystylestores]

When Alessandro Michele Reinvented Gucci – WWD

https://ift.tt/2ITXrdc

MILAN — In January five years ago, the first time Alessandro Michele took a bow at the end of Gucci’s men’s fall 2015 show, surrounded by the brand’s design team, WWD wrote it felt like the first day of school.

With that seminal show, Michele, who would officially be anointed with the creative director title two days later, began to reinvent Gucci with a completely new, quirky and androgynous aesthetic that toppled his predecessor Frida Giannini’s jet-set lifestyle image.

Quickly assembled in only a few days, following the sudden exit of Giannini a week earlier, that men’s fall 2015 collection sowed the seeds of Michele’s style, which would help return Gucci to the fashion forefront, cater to a younger customer and post growth exceeding 35 percent for five consecutive quarters by the first quarter of 2018, prompting president and chief executive officer Marco Bizzarri to set a 10 billion euro revenue target for the brand in June that year.

The first look out on the runway — another surprise as it was an industrial grate, never seen at a Gucci show — said it all. All eyes were on an ephebic man with long wispy hair wearing a silk, red pussy bow blouse and beach sandals with a furry vamp, his fingers brimming with signet rings — a reflection of Michele’s own hands.

Voilà. A trend was launched. Michele’s gender-fluid and romantic spirit would go on to influence a slew of other designers, and fast-fashion giants jumped on the bandwagon quicker than you could say Jack Robinson.

Officially, Michele’s first solo collection bowed a month later, with Gucci’s women’s fall 2015 collection, which solidified his vision as he paraded bohemian flower child dresses, shrunken proportions, and school teacher skirts.

However, the designer was smart not to throw everything to the wind, as he revisited Gucci’s iconic GG logo, canvas bags and horse-bit loafers, which he turned into fur-lined slippers and clogs, further fueling sales of the accessories division — historically a cash cow for the brand. After all, Michele was previously head accessories designer and Giannini’s deputy. Logo bags came hand-painted with flowers or embroidered with big insects — a theme dear to Michele, who continued to explore it over the seasons.

At the time, Bizzarri, who took on his role at Gucci on Jan. 1, 2015, told WWD that elevating Michele to the post of creative director was “looking from outside, not the most obvious choice,” but that he was “exactly the right person” for that position, tasked with halting Gucci’s then-performance declines. With his arrival, the focus shifted from archival iconography to pure fashion.

Michele joined the Gucci design studio in 2002 following a stint as senior accessories designer at Fendi. He was appointed “associate” to Giannini in 2011, and in 2014 took on the additional responsibility of creative director of Richard Ginori, the porcelain brand acquired by Gucci in 2013.

Five years after his debut at Gucci, in the midst of a global pandemic, Michele has abandoned what he has called “the worn-out ritual of seasonalities and shows to regain a new cadence, closer to my expressive call. We will meet just twice a year, to share the chapters of a new story.”

Conceiving new names for the collections and inspired by the music world, Michele today will present what would have traditionally been called a cruise collection and that is now dubbed “Epilogue.” Once again, he said, he wanted to “overturn things” and present a story with the people from his office instead of models, a project that includes a 12-hour livestream.

As reported, Epilogue is the conclusive chapter in Michele’s narrative, which began with his fall show presented last February in Milan, dedicated to the multitiered ritual of designing, making, staging and viewing a fashion show.

Here, Michele talks to WWD about that very first show in January 2015, while at the same time eyeing future projects.

WWD: Five years later, how do you remember that first bow on the runway? Did you expect such a global reaction to your designs and know or expect that you would be appointed creative director of the brand?

Alessandro Michele: We put together the collection in record time, without any commitment. Marco [Bizzarri] wanted to leave a sign and we redid the collection from scratch. I had no title and knew nothing about the future. Marco and I just liked each other, it was similar to being on a new date, when there’s not certainty you’ll ever get engaged. I love my job and I just followed my instinct, living the beauty of the moment.

There was no contract and I had not really sensed what projects Marco or [Kering chief] François-Henri Pinault had for the brand or for me. This proves how creative Marco is, the way he approaches projects. He took a gamble with me, but like a coach with his team, he risked everything.

WWD: You had been working at Gucci for a long time; how did your team feel about you taking the lead? Were they supportive or suspicious?

A.M.: Marco didn’t know me but I admit I had an audience of friends and colleagues who shared my passion and must have supported me. They had known me for many years, they knew my approach to work, my passion, they were fans. I wasn’t worried, there was empathy with people in the company. It almost felt like they were expecting it. We worked hard, we restaged the show location, but I don’t remember feeling tired. We had fun, it’s a beautiful memory.

WWD: Speaking of the location — how did you conceive that? It was definitely a different set from what we were used to seeing at Gucci. As was the styling, the casting, the music. How did you plan that?

A.M.: I was thinking of codes that belonged to the brand and that could fit with my vision, I did it instinctively. Gucci had been reflecting the jet-set, a social class that was totally dead, symbols of an era that was closing. I was thinking of Apollo and Venus, a less precise gender, of the beauty of a new generation, mirroring the reality I saw, the chic French professor blouse.

I chose the emotional music from Tom Ford’s [movie] “A Single Man” because he has always been a great point of reference — the inventor of Gucci for me. He has marked an era, revolutionizing the brand.

WWD: When did you realize you were leaving a mark in fashion?

A.M.: I never imagined that anyone would say that I had done a gender fluid show. I was happy and I wasn’t disturbed by this, but I just thought [the designs] reflected my life in a normal way. As a farmer [selling] his vegetables, as a designer I simply staged what I saw, traveling, looking at my friends. To me they were simply parts of a certain beauty and aesthetics that belonged to Gucci. The brand has been able to change so much, and quickly, over the years, it’s a chameleon, mirroring what’s outside. And a brand makes sense if it is part of the contemporary times.

WWD: You had been working with Frida Giannini for years, yet it became apparent that you did not share her sense of style and fashion vision. How did you channel your creativity at that time?

A.M.: I am a professional and worked to deliver my craft and experience. I was loyal, we had a very good relationship and I was delivering what I was asked to do, but there was no sharing. Not often is one asked for an opinion, so I executed as best I could. I was part of a huge mechanism. At the same time, I explored my own world privately.

I had been thinking of leaving for the previous two years; I was tired and flattened because I like the sense of freedom in my work.

Richard Ginori was a lifeline for me. I was finding my day job boring and rigid, and [former president and ceo] Patrizio di Marco asked me to become creative director of Richard Ginori. I had great freedom and so much fun with that. Porcelain is one of my great passions and I had the opportunity to revamp a wonderful brand. I redid the stores, pored over every small detail. I started from things that I have at home. I do the same for Gucci. I keep so many things, objects, furniture. This job follows me always. When I look at something, I think of fashion. It’s a job that engages you and I was not engaged before.

WWD: What happened once you were confirmed creative director? Did the responsibility or the pressure worry you? Did you think about things in a different way?

A.M.: From the first to the second show it was all very natural. I was so happy to work with a group of people that I love and respect. I was free to be creative, I was not there to secure a job. It was a life experience, whatever happened.

When I saw the reaction to my first show and that quite a few people were disoriented, I thought they would fire me, but I always say that Marco was my Pygmalion. He gave me freedom and I did not always feel free before then.

I wanted to show how I saw the world outside, not Photoshopped, not a world frozen in a Jurassic era, and a man that was different from the Alpha man.

WWD: Why did you think your designs had so much traction and were copied around the world?

A.M.: The collection had an echo because many aspire to that freedom. Once you feel free, you want to create a product that represents what is outside. Some designers, each in their own way, realized that fashion is a language that can be liberated from marketing. We were coming from 15 years of pushing iconic bags and the bourgeois look, but outside the world had changed.

WWD: Five years into this role, you are now renaming and restructuring the collections. Is this a topical moment for you?

A.M.: I feel good, these have been five wonderful years. It’s been an incredible journey, I feel fulfilled, and, when I look back, I wonder at some of the things I did.

Creativity fascinates me, like a voice simply coming out. I did what came to mind, I had fun and enjoyed it. I like to see that I have told an authentic story and I am happy with what I did.

With the lockdown everything stopped, but if you are receptive, you can produce something different. I spoke with Marco about this. Fashion is experimenting and it is connected with what is happening in the present. I have a lot of energy, and I feel like a gymnast. As long as my legs work, and I am in a good place mentally, I can do whatever it takes. I love to question myself, I hope to maintain this energy, to risk and experiment.

WWD: Fashion is also about newness, but in the wake of the pandemic, many brands are underscoring the need to have more carryover designs and products that can withstand time. You have not dramatically veered your aesthetic over the years. Do you think this could serve you well? Should we expect something very different after Epilogue?

A.M.: It could have been risky because from the grandmother’s dress to the nerdy sweatshirts, the changes were made within my world.

I swim in this sea that is mine, watching with my own eyes, so that you can tell that [my designs] are seen through my eyes. I am very monogamous and loyal to my soul, so products reflect what I see. I instigate, but then fashion goes on its own path, from the freaks and extravagance to normality.

Source link

قالب وردپرس

from World Wide News https://ift.tt/32rgwB6

[eldanbct]

ARcde Conceptual Statement

Conceptual Statement

“A satirical commentary of the bystander effect through the extension of social media”

The goal was to bring awareness to a subconscious act society takes part in. We wanted to present a dramatised, silly, non-serious, exaggerated interpretation of a bystander situation. Using this technology to also represent the involvement and impact social media has had on the bystander effect.

The Experience

The user holds the iPad over the large detectable image of black boxes and white figure outline, this relates to the whole area giving the sense of a crime scene with a chalk outline of a figure seemingly placed to match the aesthetic of the black boxes and white outline. The black boxes further hold an underlying theme of city blocks, as well as notifications on your phone. When holding the iPad over the image it is then augmented to show the scene of the Auckland library. Strengths of this was that the image was highly detectable by the AR system, this could be replicated again and cut vinyl to give a more clean effect. However the messy chalk look worked in our favour in the end as it almost could have been a real murder chalk outline.

The user experience plays out the scene in the Lorne Street area to provide a familiar location to peak their interest and garner commitment from the user. It is a well known area, having high foot traffic gives in to the idea that individuals are known to become victim to the bystander effect in the Auckland CBD. Locations such as Queen Street and Karangahape Road we believe have this same effect. We modeled using Fusion 360 to represent this location, so far with our play testing people do seem to see it as the library. The only thing about these buildings is that if over done it could diminish the effect as its hard to see the figure with so much else going on in the surrounding area.

The camera on the iPad picks up on the recognisable image and brings up the city scene in AR, along with a tap to start button. Using unity to create this scene, the reason being that Augmented Reality provided a real life context literally. Have the scene take place through a device further exaggerated our point of social media playing a role. Our approach was to display this connection to the public, as social media is now such a huge part of our lives. Through the lens of Augmented Reality, ARcde crosses between our own perception of the environment around us and what is perceived through technology to allow us to see a situation in a different perspective as we would in the real world.

Once tapped it pops up with an enter your name where users can type their name and press enter. The buttons mentioned were a way to add an arcade aesthetic to the scene, as well as clear instruction for user. Done in a similar style of purple and red to match and compliment the AR environment. Using Unity brought about challenges along the way proving to be a timely process, time already being the biggest restraint definity was a risk. Overall the outcome is what we wanted, the use of AR technology turned out to be a great strength in making our point.

The scene starts playing out as small slightly grey transparent figures walk up and down the street imitating pedestrians and bystanders whilst a recognisable arcade wii song from the “mii channel music” plays emulating a light hearted take on the satirical construct that ARcde has created. The colour aesthetic is dual colour with two different shades of purple, the ground being a light purple and all buildings having a darker shade keeping the aesthetic theme of the presentation of the leaderboard. The grey figures are almost meant to blend in and be part of the scene, they actively are doing to help, further playing in our theory that people want to blend in.  

A black silhouetted figure walks out of the library's front door and makes his way down the stairs. We wanted the main character to be distinctive amongst the many grey figures. As well as making the black figure specific to no gender or race, this can allow the user to put themselves in their shoes and identify the figure how they see fit. The figure then falls over in a dramatised, fake looking fashion, and cracks it’s head open on the pavement. This is all whilst people walk past the black figure lying on the ground. Approaching this through a satirical commentary helps create a conversation that moves towards a positive outcome. We aimed for it to be cheesy and a little silly. We didn’t want to condemn the audience for witnessing or being apart of such situations. Ensuring the outcome is a comedic take on the serious topic allows the talking points of this project to be lighthearted, helping individuals make conscious decisions to help this. Taking a comedic take on such a serious topic allows ARcde to breakthrough and curate conversation to individuals to promote their conscious decisions to prevent this.  

An issue with this is that humor is completely subjective that a minority may not get the punch line when a statement of “#liketosavealife” pops up on screen, along with a like button. Mainly because the point being, that nothing happens at all when you like the scene. As a way to represent the fact that nothing actually happens when you like a good cause on Facebook or other social medias. While the blood is spreading out you have approximately 20 seconds to press the like button. The like symbol pops above his head when you press this button, showing again that you really have no effect.

After the alloted time plays out, a leaderboard pops up and a loser sounding arcade song plays, presenting the top six people who had the most likes. Having the loser sound play further emphasises our point of are you actually doing anything? Gets the user to ask themselves, “why am I losing?”. The board in large font says TOP KILLERS, above that in smaller font subtitled, did your likes really help? To further dramatise our message. We want it to come across as kind of silly take on this situation.

Sum up

Our approach to this idea was to be over dramatic, exaggerated and not take ourselves too seriously. We had an enormous amount of challenges, not only when coming up with the concept, but during the development stages. Not having any prior knowledge of the programs used (Fusion 360, Unity, Blender). We did however have some knowledge of Adobe software but this wasn’t the main aspect carrying our project. However throughout this project this turned into one of our strengths, as this gave us an outsider approach to how we could shape the outcome. The ability/motivation/drive to learn from what we are doing and constantly looking outside of our own work for existing models and iterations of what has been done within the realm of our project (AR technology, Bystander effect etc) was exceedingly more driving for the final outcome. Though this does mean that our final product was weak in the sense we couldn’t make it look as impressive as practitioners in the field of Augmented Reality do it, we did have a rich field of learning to do and ultimately that was more important to us. Taking this as an opportunity to branch beyond our normal approaches.

We were extremely iterative throughout the first stages of our project, this posed a major threat. We spent the first half of the semester rolling through ideas rather quickly. Deadlines were becoming increasingly crucial. This meant that we had a lack of iterations on our final idea. For us though, those first weeks of exploration proved more useful than initially thought. By the time we came to our final idea, the concept was formulated enough to be carried out rather smoothly. We learnt about what we as individuals didn’t want to focus and produce. This produced many restrictions, however this also allowed us to develop a rich idea that we were all on board with; essentially saving energy for the main event. Time being the biggest restriction, this further shaped the outcome of ARcde, prioritizing the necessities to meet the timeframe required.

Method

We started with an idea of annoyance and anti-design, from this we were thinking of how we could annoy individuals and what small things grind peoples gears. We moved on from this idea as we felt the concept was bleak and was lacking depth. We moved onto the concept of waves, sound and pollution. This was mainly drawn together with our common interest in mixing sounds, photography and the environment.

Through this process the development started with more ideas of how photos tend to pollute our social media feeds. More specifically how similar images are taken of popular areas with no originality (i.e paris Eiffel tower). Idea generation originally focused on the pollution of the ocean, contrasting between the pollution of the physical and virtual space became a point of interest to iterate upon. Furthering the exploration of both originality of sharing content such as photographs to how it relates physically of persons sharing similar photographs of their journey through countries and wonders of the world.

This had us stepping back to investigate about perspective, how one person sees the same thing as another. We thought about tourists taking photos of the same item or object and how this contributed to the idea of unoriginality. Especially in certain locations. We noticed trends on Instagram as people in the same location tend to take photos in the exact composition. This lead us to thinking of infographics and peoples reaction to certain spaces.

All this thinking took longer than first anticipation, however it did lead us to our final idea. Not to look back on it as wasted time, reflecting on our journey as part of our process. The rapid iteration cultivated this bystander idea.

The similarities between the need to document your own life through social media and the way people react in different environments brought us to the conclusion of the bystander effect and how this contributes to the reactions of people in the public eye. Things in our society are developing so incredibly fast, we think it is important to address interesting trends and human nature as technology develops.

Technology and methodology

Adobe Photoshop and illustrator was used to prototype, creating textures, texts and stylistic components for the artefact. Fusion 360 to model the scene and blender to explore new processes. Unity was used for the main AR program and animation.

When we finally reached a final verdict, the roles started to form themselves. Gianni took on the responsibility of learning Unity to incorporate AR. Learning everything from scratch was a trial and error experience. Of course never having used this type of program before did limit the possibilities, however this allowed us to think outside of the box as we didn’t know exactly was achievable in the remaining time. It was an intense learning and exploration journey. The main responsibilities was learning Unity which involved, animation, creating buttons and responses of the AR development. Gianni was the main AR visualiser and co-ordinator, incorporating work from Eden and Daniel and combining all the components together.

Gianni also took on the role of developing the back end system of the Like button and leaderboard. This involved learning new skills in programming in both the Python language and C#. The biggest undertaking here was working through it to get the C# scripts to make requests to a Flask server hosted by a Python script. The incorporation of a network aspect elevated the complexity of the challenge as it was no longer a single device based system.

Eden took on the role of the stylistic components and design, as well as 3D modeling the buildings and co-coordinating back and forth with Gianni to get the overall visual aesthetic working to the best of their abilities.  Learning Fusion 360, Blender and using previous knowledge of Adobe software. Eden was the main director of the visual outcome, making the design for the UI elements, 3D modeling buildings with detail and the layout of the environment to be  cohesive with our theme.

Daniel further took on the role of modeling the roads and background structures for the scene. Learning Fusion 360 to coordinate with Eden on the layout of the environment. Creating main base structures allowed Eden to see some of the main buildings before designing the others. Also creating the final video of our project.

The work flow worked in an iterative circle. Daniel working on road bases, coordinating with Eden to create details and building structures, Eden then coordinating with Gianni on how it should come together, Gianni applying changes and functions. Then back to the beginning again, applying new feedback as we went along. It was interesting because first we envisioned our outcome to project a scene in a box, then we moved on to an approach more logical, the AR system. Without this circle of iteration, it would have taken much longer to reach our final outcome.

Relying on the completion of each other's work under a strict timeline gave us the learning experience of quality control between designing, modeling and visualising the Augmented Reality that ARcde wanted to project to the user at a high level in all elements.

ARcde presents its AR artefact using a square metre mdf board of a chalk outline at a crime scene backed with 2D squares representing the virtual environment created in Unity a 3D game engine. CAD programs such as Fusion 360 and Blender have been utilized to model life-like structures recreating a similar environment of Lorne Street in an effort to help provoke commitment due to the familiarities of the environment. All modeling and stylisation has been imported into Unity creating a platform that can be seen through the lens of an iPad displaying an Augmented Reality to displace the trigger image that is the painted mdf board.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Tattoo Advice From 6 People With Years of Hindsight

http://fashion-trendin.com/tattoo-advice-from-6-people-with-years-of-hindsight/

Tattoo Advice From 6 People With Years of Hindsight

I often waffle between thinking tattoos are an insane commitment and thinking they’re no big deal at all. Over the years though, as I’ve gotten my own and watched others get theirs, a few things have solidified for me vis-a-vis permanent ink: Everyone who has tattoos feels very differently about them. Try as we might to find it, there is no consistent script for those who choose to participate. Which is to say: No one approach will speak specifically to yours.

That said, I am always curious to hear more perspectives, and since I know the stories of the young and the reckless getting tatted up against their parents’ wishes all too well, this time I sought out guidance from people a little older, a little wiser, and who have the benefit of hindsight. Below are six people who fit that bill, so scroll to read their stories and advice and then tell me yours.

Olivia Kim

Olivia, 40, is the VP of Creative Projects at Nordstrom. She got her first tattoo at 14.

What made you first want (and get) tattoos?

I got my first tattoo when I was 14! My mom had just gone out for the evening, and my sister and I decided to have a party at our house. Our friends were literally hiding in the bushes and trees and, as soon as the car left the driveway, they all came in. Then my friend, who was a senior and had a car, said that he was going to go get a tattoo. I said, “Oooh, me too!”

I never thought about it or deliberated whether or not I wanted one. I just got one. I think I’m pretty much the same now. The feeling of wanting another one, and another one, and another one never goes away. I don’t like to overthink anything. You can just wind up talking yourself out of an experience.

What about it might you have done different had you known better?

Nothing. Zero regrets. I love the really bad stick-and-pokes from my best friend Jenn that we would do on the floor of my apartment just as much as I love the beautiful super-pro ones done by amazing tattoo artists. I think you have to just get what feels right for you — not your friends, or your fave celeb crush, or something impersonal. If it’s what you want, it’s what you want.

What advice would you give to people who are thinking of getting a tattoo?

I’ve heard people say, “I’m thinking about getting a tattoo but just waiting for the right moment or the right inspiration.” But I think the fun of tattoos is the spontaneity of being in the moment and whatever you happen to be thinking of in that moment. How else do you wind up with a cupcake on your knuckle?

It’s not the most important decision in your life, so be a bit free with it. Have fun! What is the worst thing that could happen? You hate it or regret it? You can just as easily remove tattoos these days as get them.

Richard Biedul

Richard, 34, is a lawyer turned model turned art director. He got his first tattoo at 16.

What made you first get a tattoo?

Believe it or not, the rationale behind getting my first tattoo wasn’t an archetypal act of rebellion nor a desire to follow a trend. It was more of a Leonard (Guy Pearce) in Memento type scenario…

My (twin) sisters passed away when I was very young. As a teenager I was haunted by the notion of their memory fading as I grew older, especially because the memories I had of them to begin with were so limited.

I guess in the simplest terms: I made the decision to get a tattoo to ensure that I never forgot them. I hope that the permanence of the tattoo on my body will act as an eternal memorial to them and to any fading memory of them that I may or may have as I grow older.

What about your journey since has surprised you?

Over the last 18 years, some of the times and places (and ease with which) I’ve been able to get tattooed have genuinely surprised me. From house-parties in Berlin and Brooklyn to shops in London, Paris and Milan. Any time of day or night. Over breakfast, lunch or dinner: the list of strange scenarios goes on and on…

I wouldn’t change anything. I stand by all of the decisions I’ve made to get each and every one of my tattoos. Except maybe the drunken decision to get a unicorn on the back of my left arm…

Thoughts on style choice?

When people ask “Can you recommend a tattooist?” I always say yes, but caveat any suggestions based on what style of tattoo the person wants.

Stylistically, my tattoos are all done by different people from different parts of the world, but they all maintain aesthetic similarity. They probably don’t necessarily fit any one of the major tattoo styles but if I were pushed I would say they’re a mixture of traditional and stick-and-poke…

There has been a large number of people in London over recent years who having never expressed an interest in tattoos have, in the space of 12 months, covered every inch of their body in an attempt to fit an aesthetic that has taken others decades to achieve. On some people it works, on others it looks contrived. It’s like going to Supreme and buying one of everything. Owning these items doesn’t necessarily make you stylish. It just shows that you have a propensity to follow trends (and consume fashion).

Any common misconceptions you’d like to debunk?

“Does it hurt?” I get asked this quite a lot. The longest session I’ve ever had was three hours. Before I had that session I would always say: “No, not particularly.” However, post-wolf’s head, I always answer in the affirmative! But just how much depends on a person’s individual pain threshold. What is tolerable to one is intolerable to another…

Any advice for people thinking of getting a tattoo?

Tattooing, just like art, fashion and music is purely subjective; what one person likes another hates. Obviously you can appreciate the technical expertise that went into the work, but everyone should tread their own path, do some research, find a style or artist that YOU like. Don’t be influenced by your peers, sportsmen or celebrities. Take risks and most importantly…be original!

Mary Dorman

Mary, 67, is a civil rights activist attorney. She got her first tattoo when she was 55.

What made you first get a tattoo?

I believe I have always been an outlier. Since birth. I have never been afraid to be different because I simply am. On the other hand, I am a white female who looks like so many others and none of my friends have or had a tattoo. Maybe a teeny one in a hidden place. Good tattoos have always appealed to me. There was a fabulous show of them at the Drawing Center in the ’90s and I knew I had to have one. I have never regretted it for an instant. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. Now I just want to enhance it but have to find the right artist.

The surprise of my personal tattoo journey is how many people want one but are too chicken to get one.

Any advice on style choice?

If you’re going to get a tattoo, commit to it. Anyone can have a little dot that is a dolphin or a peace sign…boring. Might as well wear a temporary. That said, it doesn’t have to be huge by any means. One thing that I have noticed is how most people get a tattoo in a place that they can’t see it: shoulder blade, back, etc. I enjoy seeing mine.

BUT! My tattoo can’t be seen unless I have shorts on, as it is on my calf. As I age, I would like to get a tattoo of an octopus tentacle poking out of my collar just up my neck, but that may not be in this lifetime.

Any common misconceptions you’d like to debunk?

What cannot be debunked is that if you get a shitty tattoo, you are stuck with it or Dr. Zizmor (who advertises for tattoo removal on subway signs).

Any advice for people thinking of getting a tattoo?

Think about the image and get a true tattoo artist to draw a sketch that you can personalize even further. The tattoo has to be about you. Also — really fight making the decision when you are not sober. Some PRETTY BAD tattoos come out of spring break in Key West.

Charles Taylor

Charles, 56, is a writer. He got his first tattoo at 50.

What made you first want and get tattoos?

It was an idea I toyed with on and off over the years. What would I like? I always wanted a pin-up girl, you know, a kind of Varga girl. But, frankly, I worried what that would look like when I got older. Would it be the tattoo equivalent of the mid-life crisis sports car? I don’t think aging has to mean dullness. I see how reluctant men much younger than I am are to try anything that isn’t run-of-the-mill dull, and it just makes me despair for my entire gender. There is nothing more boring than the sartorial habits of the average American man. On the other hand, you don’t want to look like an ass.

The decision when I made it was simple. My mom died. Six days before I turned 50. I decided I wanted her name tattooed on my left shoulder. I was so marked by her death that marking my flesh seemed of very little consequence.

I asked some of my students where they got their ink. And the same name, NY Adorned on 2nd Ave, kept coming up. I went in on a Saturday and got her name and middle name, Eva Lorraine, in simple black script on my left shoulder. I remember being strangely proud when, after he was done, the tattooist said to me, “Wow! You’re a bleeder.” It felt right that I had bled for the honor of having my mom’s name engraved on me.

My dad was, at first, a little taken aback. But he understood why I did it, and he came to like the tattoo. He even kidded me, “When are you going to get my name?” I did this past April the week after he died, on the opposite shoulder, in the same script, his first and middle name, Charles Henry.

What about your tattoo journey has surprised you?

A few weeks back, I was moving boxes after hours at my part-time job and was wearing a sleeveless undershirt. My boss, who is covered in tattoos, looked at the script on my back and said, “Those look so sick, Charley.” It was a compliment from someone who knows about the artform and who means what he says. It meant the world. There are only a few more names of people around me I love who I would find a place for on my back, but because I love them I’m hoping I go before them. I have toyed with the idea of getting a quote written on my side, but I’m afraid the particular quote I have in mind might be an inadvertent curse rather than the point of pride I would intend it to be. And no, I won’t tell you what it is.

Are you pro or anti-“trendy” tattoos?

Completely against trendy tattoos. It’s not like the thing you buy at H&M to wear for a season.

Any common misconceptions you’d like to debunk?

Well, they are so common now that we can no longer say, “Think of what will happen when you try to get a job.” Cops have sleeves now. That said, like any style that becomes common, not everyone wears them well. I work a part-time job with guys in their 30s who are covered in tattoos and they’ve thought them out, who they wanted to tattoo them, how each would work with each other. I recently met a woman who is having an entire bodysuit done. I saw a photo and it was ravishing: completely thought out in terms of her whole body. The worst thing to me is someone who looks like they are wearing all their clothes at once. Since mine are on my back, I forget about them for weeks at a time.

Any advice for people who are thinking of getting a tattoo?

Do it sober. Put thought into it. Think of what size you want. Will it be visible or not to the outside world and if it is, how will it go with what you wear in your everyday life?

Christie Terranova

Christie, 34 is a hairdresser at Common Good Salon. She got her first tattoo at 18. (“It was a butterfly, because duh.”)

What made you first want tattoos?

I’ve liked tattoos ever since I knew what they were. Not much has changed in that department. I’m still collecting and like to get tattooed when I travel.

Any advice on style choice?

Well, it’s no surprise, good art costs money. When you are young, it’s hard to spend a lot because you don’t have a lot, but hopefully when you get older, you get nicer pieces. As far as tattoo trends, I couldn’t care less about what other people do to their bodies as far as modification. It’s not my place to judge either way.

Any common misconceptions you’d like to debunk?

Where we live, in New York, there’s not much to debunk…we live in a very liberal place. As far as other places, located in the US or outside, being a heavily-tattooed woman is considered strange. But the world will come around. When people ask about them, my usual response is: “I just like them.” It’s that simple.

Any advice for people who are thinking of getting a tattoo?

You definitely get what you pay for. Tattoos are expensive. I know it sounds redundant to say, but they’re permanent. Pay the money. It’s worth it. Also, above all, the people who are tattooing are artists. They are expensive because they don’t get paid time off or health insurance. You’re helping with that. It’s not cool to try to lowball someone. And finally, opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. So, do what you want. And live your life.

Amanda Wachob

Amanda is an artist and tattoo artist working in New York, New York.

What made you first want tattoos?

I never expected that I would be a tattoo artist, and had never really thought about getting tattoos prior! I got my first tattoo during my apprenticeship; I picked a design from a piece of antique sheet music.

What about your journey has surprised you?

I think what’s really surprised me is how obsessed I am with everything about tattooing. I didn’t expect to fall so completely in love with it. It’s truly my passion and time disappears when I’m working…I feel really lucky for that.

Any common misconceptions you’d like to debunk?

Get the style of tattoo that you want regardless of that whole “longevity” thing.  Your body starts breaking down the tattoo ink as soon as it goes into your skin no matter the color or style or application, and all tattoos will age and need a touchup eventually. We are here for such a short time on this planet, so decorate yourself however you want and enjoy.

Any advice for people who are thinking of getting a tattoo?

Definitely research your artist, and have them make something unique just for you. It’s never good to ask a tattoo artist to copy someone else’s work, it’s best to seek out that artist directly, even if it means traveling to them or waiting for awhile before you can get something.

Illustrations by Eloise Weiss.

1930's+fashion+trends+for+women, 1980's fashion trends, 2015 f/w fashion trends, 2015 fashion trends 60s, 2016 fashion trend 90s, 3 fashion trends, 3 fashion trends 2014, 3 fashion trends 2016, 3 fashion trends 2017, 3 fashion trends from the 1960s, 3 fashion trends this season, 3 fashion trends this season 2017, 3 fashion trends this season shoes, 3 fashion trends this year, 3 key fashion trends this season, 3d fashion trend, 4 dangerous fashion trends to avoid, 4 factors that influence fashion trends, 4 fashion trends, 4 main fashion trends this season, 5 fashion trends, 5 fashion trends 2014, 5 fashion trends for 2015, 5 fashion trends for 2016, 5 fashion trends for 2017, 5 fashion trends in 1999, 5 fashion trends millennials are done with, 5 fashion trends that are officially out of style, 5 fashion trends that will be in for 2017, 6 fashion trends, 6 fashion trends that killed, 6 fashion trends thought catalog, 60's fashion trends, 60s fashion trend 2014, 7 polytechnic fashion trends, 7 travel fashion trends that should be banned, 7 weird asian fashion trends, 70's fashion trend, 8 fashion trends guys hate, 8 fashion trends that need to end asap, 8 fashion trends that will dominate 2016, 8 year old fashion trends, 80's fashion trends, 9 fashion trends that need to die in 2016, 9 racist fashion trends that need to die, 9 year old fashion trends, 90's fashion trends, 90s fashion trend 2014, a fashion trend meaning, a list of fashion trends, a speech on fashion trends, a/w 15 fashion trends, a/w fashion trends, a/w fashion trends 2015, a/w fashion trends 2015/16, a/w fashion trends 2016, a/w fashion trends 2016/17, Advice, b & h trend fashion, b & h trend fashion gmbh, bad fashion trends 80s, c trendy fashion, d_l_fashion_trendblog, d-trend fashion kft, d-trend fashion kft. debrecen, diferencia entre fashion y trendy, differenza tra fashion e trendy, e commerce fashion trends, e fashion trends, e fashion trends 2015, e news fashion trends 2014, f trend fashion, f/w 2013 men's fashion trends, f/w 2014 fashion trends, f/w 2015 fashion trends, f/w 2016 fashion trends, f/w fashion trends, fashion and trend, fashion and trends, fashion color trend fw 2015, fashion e trendy, fashion or trend, fashion trend 101, fashion trend 1920, fashion trend 1960, fashion trend 1970, fashion trend 1980, fashion trend 1990, fashion trend 1997, fashion trend 1998, fashion trend 1999, fashion trend 2000, fashion trend 2007, fashion trend 2015 quotes, fashion trend 2016, fashion trend 2017, fashion trend 2017 fall, fashion trend 2017 fall winter, fashion trend 2017 mens, fashion trend 2017 winter, fashion trend 2018, fashion trend 2018 spring summer, fashion trend 50s, fashion trend 565, fashion trend 60s, fashion trend 70s, fashion trend 70s 2015, fashion trend 80s, fashion trend 90s, fashion trend alert, fashion trend analysis, fashion trend analysis examples, fashion trend analyst, fashion trend analyst jobs, fashion trend analytics, fashion trend apps, fashion trend april 2017, fashion trend articles, fashion trend august 2017, fashion trend backpack, fashion trend bellflower ca, fashion trend blogs, fashion trend board, fashion trend board examples, fashion trend books, fashion trend boots, fashion trend boots 2017, fashion trend by johnson carper, fashion trend by johnson carper dresser, fashion trend carson, fashion trend carson ca, fashion trend categories, fashion trend colors 2017, fashion trend colors 2018, fashion trend colors fall 2017, fashion trend companies, fashion trend consultant, fashion trend curve, fashion trend cycle, fashion trend data, fashion trend december 2014, fashion trend definition, fashion trend description, fashion trend digest, fashion trend double jeans, fashion trend downey, fashion trend downey ca, fashion trend dresser, fashion trend dresses, fashion trend earrings, fashion trend elle, fashion trend embroidery, fashion trend essay, fashion trend europe, fashion trend europe 2015, fashion trend evolution, fashion trend examples, fashion trend eyebrows, fashion trend eyeglasses, fashion trend fall 2017, fashion trend for 2017, fashion trend for 2018, fashion trend for 30s, fashion trend for spring 2018, fashion trend for winter 2017, fashion trend forecasting, fashion trend forecasting companies, fashion trend forecasting internships, fashion trend forecasting jobs, fashion trend forecasting websites, fashion trend games, fashion trend gh, fashion trend glasses, fashion trend glasses 2015, fashion trend glasses 2017, fashion trend gold, fashion trend graph, fashion trend green, fashion trend grey hair, fashion trend guide, fashion trend hair 2015, fashion trend hairstyles, fashion trend hairstyles 2015, fashion trend hashtags, fashion trend hijab 2017, fashion trend history, fashion trend history timeline, fashion trend hong kong, fashion trend hours, fashion trend hunter, fashion trend in 1990, fashion trend in 2000, fashion trend in 2017, fashion trend in 2018, fashion trend in carson, fashion trend in china, fashion trend in new york, fashion trend in spanish, fashion trend in vietnam, fashion trend inc, fashion trend inc carson, fashion trend instagram, fashion trend january 2017, fashion trend japan, fashion trend japan 2017, fashion trend jeans, fashion trend jeans 2017, fashion trend jobs, fashion trend johnson carper, fashion trend journal, fashion trend july 2017, fashion trend june 2017, fashion trend kenya, fashion trend keywords, fashion trend kimono, fashion trend knee high socks, fashion trend knit, fashion trend knitwear, fashion trend korea, fashion trend korea 2017, fashion trend korean 2015, fashion trend korean 2016, fashion trend la, fashion trend la coupon code, fashion trend la downey, fashion trend la downey ca, fashion trend la instagram, fashion trend labels, fashion trend lakewood ca, fashion trend life cycle, fashion trend locations, fashion trend love nikki, fashion trend magazines, fashion trend map, fashion trend may 2015, fashion trend may 2017, fashion trend meaning, fashion trend melbourne cup 2017, fashion trend mens, fashion trend mens 2017, fashion trend mood board, fashion trend mustache, fashion trend names, fashion trend names 2017, fashion trend near me, fashion trend no bra, fashion trend normcore, fashion trend nose hair, fashion trend november 2015, fashion trend november 2017, fashion trend now, fashion trend now 2017, fashion trend october 2017, fashion trend of 2016, fashion trend of 2017, fashion trend of fall 2017, fashion trend of long shirts or jackets, fashion trend of the 70s, fashion trend omaha nebraska, fashion trend online shopping, fashion trend origins, fashion trend over 50, fashion trend paris 2017, fashion trend philippines 2017, fashion trend podcast, fashion trend porterville, fashion trend porterville ca, fashion trend predictions, fashion trend predictions 2017, fashion trend predictions 2018, fashion trend presentation, fashion trend pria 2017, fashion trend questionnaire, fashion trend questions, fashion trend quiz, fashion trend quotes, fashion trend red, fashion trend report 2017, fashion trend report 2018, fashion trend report example, fashion trend report template, fashion trend reports, fashion trend research, fashion trend research jobs, fashion trend research websites, fashion trend right now, fashion trend seeker, fashion trend services, fashion trend shoes, fashion trend sites, fashion trend spotting, fashion trend spring 2018, fashion trend store, fashion trend summer 2017, fashion trend survey questions, fashion trend synonym, fashion trend terms, fashion trend theories, fashion trend this fall, fashion trend this season, fashion trend this winter, fashion trend timeline, fashion trend today, fashion trend tracker, fashion trend trivia, fashion trend tumblr, fashion trend uk, fashion trend uk 2015, fashion trend uk 2017, fashion trend underdick, fashion trend updates, fashion trend us, fashion trend usa, fashion trend velvet, fashion trend vests, fashion trend videos, fashion trend vintage, fashion trend vocabulary, fashion trend vogue, fashion trend vs fad, fashion trend watch, fashion trend websites, fashion trend westroads mall, fashion trend wgsn, fashion trend white sneakers, fashion trend wide leg pants, fashion trend wikipedia, fashion trend winter 2017, fashion trend words, fashion trend words 2017, fashion trend year 2000, fashion trend year 2015, fashion trend yoga pants, fashion trend.vegas, fashion trends, fashion trends 00s, fashion trends 1, fashion trends 2, fashion trends 2015 90s, fashion trends 2017, fashion trends 2018, fashion trends 4 you, fashion trends 40 year old woman, fashion trends 40s, fashion trends 50 year old woman, fashion trends 50 years ago, fashion trends 50s 60s, fashion trends 60s-70s, fashion trends 70's clothing, fashion trends 80's and 90's, fashion trends 80's clothes, fashion trends early 70s, fashion trends fall 2017, fashion trends for 2018, fashion trends for 40 year old woman 2015, fashion trends for 45 year old woman, fashion trends for 50 plus, fashion trends for 50 year olds, fashion trends for 55 year old woman, fashion trends for 5th graders, fashion trends for 60 year old woman, fashion trends for 6th grade, fashion trends for 7 year olds, fashion trends for 7th graders, fashion trends for 8 year olds, fashion trends for 8th grade, fashion trends for 9 year olds, fashion trends for xmas, fashion trends fw 2015/16, fashion trends generation x, fashion trends impact on youth, fashion trends late 70s, fashion trends late 80s early 90s, fashion trends late 90s, fashion trends of the 80s, fashion trends of the 90s, fashion trends over 40, fashion trends over 60, fashion trends right now, fashion trends summer 2017, fashion trends uk 2014, fashion trends uk 2016, fashion trends winter 2017, fashion trends xmas 2015, fashion trends year 1960, fashion trends year by year, fashion trends you hate, fashion trends young adults, fashion trends youth today, fashion trends youtube, fashion trendsetter, fashion trendsetters, fashion trendz, fashion trendz brampton, fashion trendz facebook, fashion trendz okhla, fashion trendz oz, fashion trendz sarees, fashiontrendz.in, fringe as a fashion trend, g dragon fashion trends, gen z fashion trends, gen-u fashion trend, generation x fashion trends, generation y fashion trends, h trend fashion, h&m fashion trends, h&m fashion trends 2014, h&m fashion trends 2015, Hindsight, i trend fashion, j trendy fashion, j'n'c fashion trend, j&c fashion trend magazine, jay z fashion trends, k fashion trends, k-design trendy fashion, kdrama fashion trends, key fashion trends 60s, kpop fashion trend, l.a fashion trends, m trend fashion and shopping, m trends fashion, m&j fashion trend, madonna fashion trends 80s, male fashion trends 70's, male fashion trends 90s, mary j blige fashion trends, mens fashion trends 60s, mens fashion trends 80s, my trendy fashion, o magazine fashion trends, o que é fashion trend, o que significa fashion trends, People, popular fashion trends 90s, quirky fashion trend, rock n roll fashion trends, s/s fashion trends 2015, s/s fashion trends 2016, sportswear as a fashion trend, spring summer-2015-fashion-trend-3-70s-glamorama, ss15 fashion trends, ss16 fashion trends, stripes as a fashion trend, t shirt design fashion trends, t shirt dress fashion trend, t shirt fashion trends, t shirt fashion trends 2012, t shirt fashion trends 2013, t shirt fashion trends 2014, t shirt fashion trends 2015, t shirt fashion trends 2016, Tattoo, the 7 deadliest fashion trends of all time, top 5 fashion trends of 2014, trash 2 trends fashion show, trend fashion 80an, trend fashion umur 30 an, trend g fashion, trendy fashion, trendy o fashion, trendy u fashion, trendy4 fashion, trendz n fashion, trendz n fashion bags, trendz n fashion sunglasses, u trend fashion, what is a fashion trend report, women's fashion trends 70s, world war 1 fashion trends, world war 2 fashion trends, worst fashion trends 00's, worst fashion trends 90s, x trend fashion olang, Years

[thelowartgloominati-blog1]

Indigo’s 10 favorite albums

(as of 9/16/17)

Hello! If you’ve stumbled upon this post in error then I’m sorry. I tag my stupid personal crap for that exact reason, I don’t want anyone subjected to my stupidity unless they choose to be. Anyway, I listen to a lot of music (and I mean a LOT of music), and I’ve been thinking for some time about what my favorite albums really are today. It’s a really tough list to make, but I thought I’d commit it to record somewhere, if for no other reason then so in 10 years (presuming this account is still active) I can look back and think “wow... I had shit, shit taste in 2017...” Also, I’m gonna cheat and put these in no particular order. I think, gun to my head, I could probobly rank these albums from 10 to 1, but it would be so close that there would just be no point, and I wouldn’t really love album #1 THAT MUCH more then Album #10, they’re all just THAT GOOD to me.

Anyway, here they are:

Ladytron - Velocifero (2008)

This was my first Ladytron album and it is still my favorite. Part of that is because I think it is the best showcase of the band at it’s height of creativity, and partially because I first got this album during a very difficult time in my life and it helped get me through all that nonsense in a very non-insubstantial way, so I’ll always have a soft spot for it. The music itself is often genera-ed as synthpop, which isn’t inaccurate, but it doesn’t really conform to the conventions of that label. It’s got a little bit of new wave, a little bit of world music, a little glam rock, a few songs are even sung in Mira’s native Bulgarian which creates a really nice contrast with the english vocals. Brian Eno is quoted in saying that Ladytron are the best British group of this century so far, and I am inclined to agree.

Marilyn Manson - The Pale Emperor (2015)

Spoiler alert: this may not be the only time we talk about Mr. Manson on this list... in fact it will definitely not be.  Anyways, I am a huge Marilyn Mason fan (if my URL wasn’t a big enough give away), but even I’ll admit that after Golden Age of Grotesque his discography did start to get a little spotty. Albums like High End of Low were a step in the right direction, but there was a clear drop-off in creativity that made itself present post about 2005... until this album. This album completely blew me away. The sort of industrial blues rock instrumental style combined with Manson’s very distinct flavor of vocals and lyrical themes, made for a fresh sound that really doesn’t sound like any of Manson’s other work, but is still distinctly his own. And lyrically it almost sounds like Manson is analyzing this figure both himself and the media have built himself into over his career, it feels like he’s taken a step back and said “shit... how did I get here?”. It’s just a one-of-a-kind album, and it makes me very optimistic for Heaven Upside Down.

Jack Off Jill - Clear Hearts, Grey Flowers (2000)

This is one of the most addictive albums I’ve ever listened to, and that’s fortunate because it also happens to be among the best. I will warn you, it is an angry album. This album is meant to be screamed along to while you are mad at the world (and for me that is very often). The experience is cathartic and, for me at least, very very satisfying. Tonality aside though, it features some of the best song-craft of any riot grrl or gothic rock album I’ve ever heard, and Jessicka Adams remains one of my all-time favorite vocalists (look up her other band “Scarling” too, different sort of music, but still very very good). This album is a blood and tear soaked, eye-shadow stained, unapologetically feminist masterstroke. I consider it the high point of JoJ’s work, and I really hope they make some more some day (I’m not holding my breath, but I can hope).

New Order - Substance (1987)

I’m cheating. I don’t care. Yes, it shouldn’t technically count since it’s just a compilation, but I love this record so damn much that I just couldn’t not include it. It’s almost detrimental because ever since I got this record I keep going for other New Order records and just thinking “Wait, why don’t I just throw on Substance?” and I inevitably do. The album is pretty much what it says on the tin; two disks, disk one is the 12  inch version of every NO single up to and including True Faith, disk 2 is the B-sides. No frills, no bullshit, no flash, just substance. But that was always part of New Order’s whole minimalist aesthetic, they didn’t need anything else, their music spoke for itself. As for why I like this album particularly (in addition to having the full version of “Ceremony” which incidentally is my favorite song), it stands as a fascinating retrospective of the progression of their career, the band of course forming from the remnants of Joy Division after Ian Curtis’ tragic death in 1980, starting from a post punk sound off those heels, and moving onto dance rock and later synth pop. Disk one showcases the gradient of styles in their single catalog, whereas disk two highlights the experimentation going on in their deeper cuts. Anyway, it’s my favorite compilation of all time, and if you haven’t really gotten into New Order, you can’t really ask for a better “starter kit” so to speak. 

Depeche Mode - Black Celebration (1986)

Yeah, I know Violator and Music for the Masses are probobly the better albums from an “objective” standpoint, and I love those albums too, but this album IS Depeche Mode for me. Every. Track. Kills.  It is one of the only albums I can both wake up to AND fall asleep to. This album was the musical direction started with Construction Time Again, and refined with Some Great Reward, perfected to a mirror sheen. It is a very cold album, of all the “black” albums out there, I’d say this is the blackest. It’s dark in both sound, subject matter, and tone. Alan Wilder, Marvin Gore, Dave Gahan, and Andy Fletcher were at their absolute top of their game with this record, the ultimate culmination of their start as an OMD-esque new wave act that wanted to be the next Kraftwork, into this fully formed mixture of synthpop with german industrial music and a dash of krautrock that became their own musical identity.  And on a personal note, the synthlines and hooks on this record specifically just do something to my brain, it has a flavor that’s all it’s own, and it’s one of the unique records that, for me at least, just does not get old. 

The Killers - Day and Age (2008)

This one is REALLY personal for me. The Killers are probobly the first band I really “discovered” on my own. Nobody really showed them to me, I just heard the music somewhere (I think I actually heard it on the radio at a video game store), I liked it, and I bought the record.  But man, this album and me have gotten to know each other very very well over the years. During most of high school I would listen to this album, beginning to end, almost every single night. I just loved it that much. I know every word on this album, I know every note. It’s so ingrained in who I am at this point that I have difficulty imagining my adolescent development without it. I was such a new thing to me at that time, this very European flavor of alternative rock with some light keyboards in there for good measure. And honestly, while I like all the Killers albums to at least some extent, they never really recaptured the magic of this album for me personally. They started leaning more into the rock aspect of their music after this, and I like Battleborn just fine, but this album was just pure gold (again, for me). Day and Age is not the best album on this list, but it is an irreplaceable part of my soul.

David Bowie - Diamond Dogs (1974)

Of the vast legacy of records the late, great, David Bowie left us, Diamond Dogs is my personal favorite. I understand why some people may prefer Aladdin Sane, Low, or Ziggy Stardust, and those are incredible albums too, but in terms of raw musical quality, creativity, and originality, Diamond Dogs has to win it. This record was the swan song of Bowie’s glam rock era, with shades of the soul style he would move into after period with the Young Americans record (which I also really love). The intro alone makes this record for me (that “THIS AIN’T ROCK AND ROLL! THIS IS GENOCIDE!” line gives me chills every time), and it just gets better and better from there (Rebel Rebel, Sweet Thing, and the title track itself all rank among my favorite songs). It’s a very dark album thematically, taking a lot of inspiration from George Orwell’s novel 1984, which Bowie was somewhat obsessed with at the time. Bowie had initially actually wanted to do an adaptation of 1984 itself, but was unable to get the rights, which forced him to get creative, and I think the album is all the better for it.  For me, this album is a concentrated chunk of exactly what made David Bowie, quite possibly, the greatest musician of the last century, he is dearly missed.

The Who - Quadrophenia (1973)

This is the album that has been my “Favorite” for longer than any other. My relationship with this album actually started, if you’ll believe this, with the cassette version. My family had just moved and my dad and I were unpacking boxes, when I opened up a box of cassettes, randomly picked out this one, recognized the band name and said something along the lines of “Oh, The Who, I know them, this tape any good?” my dad looked over and said “That tape isn’t just ‘good’ it’s one of the best albums ever made! You should take that and listen to it, see what I mean.” I did. My dad was absolutely right. Quadrophenia is, in my opinion, the peak of what a rock opera can be. Every song could be listened to out of context and enjoyed for what it is, but IN context each song becomes a piece of a bigger story about, among other things, the violence between rival gangs of Mods and Rockers in England in the early to mid 1960′s (and The Who’s cultural place at that time, as they were a very popular group with many of those Mods when most of the big riots took place). Of course I didn’t fully understand that at the time (I was like 12 when I got that tape), I could tell there was some kind of story going on through, and I spent so long listening to this album, over and over, trying to “figure it out.” The fact that the music itself rocked too was just icing on the cake. Anyway, I love this album, and if were forced to actually pick an all time favorite, I think this one might be it...

Marilyn Mansion - Mechanical Animals (1998)

...But if you ask me what album I like listening to the most, this is the one. I don’t like using this term, but for me, this album might be the closest thing any record has come to “perfect” from a musical standpoint. It ticks ALL my boxes. When I first listened to this album I was going to play it the background whaile I did something else, I don’t even remember what that was because I just ended up staring at the album art for the entire record because I was so entranced by the music. There is NOTHING else like it. It’s this amalgamation of glam rock, industrial rock, electronic music, it it completely genera defying; and this is the point in Manson’s carer when he really started to understand where his strengths as a vocalist laid, his voice is absolutely entrancing on this album, his best vocal work by far.  On that note, before Marilyn Manson, I didn’t really “get” the importance of lyrics and vocals in music, I mean I liked them as another set of sounds to compliment the instrumental aspect, but I always thought of the voice as another instrument more then anything else. Manson changed all that for me, his lyrics add such an intrinsic element to all his music, and are such an important aspect of the flavor and tonality it takes, that if you took the lyrics out of ANY of his songs they would simply not be the same song any more.  And I’d observed that on Antichrist Superstar as well, but this album was what really sealed the deal for me. It actually opened a lot of doors for me, it’s how I first started getting into David Bowie and Bauhaus because I heard they were big influences, which got me branching out to new generas of music I hadn’t really tried before, it’s become a very special album to me. The best way to describe this record is actually something I once read in a Youtube comment section for The Dope Show music video (no really):  “This song makes me want to drink six red bulls and roll around in glitter.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.

The Cure - Disintegration (1989)

I know what you’re thinking, what could possibly follow that last wall of text? Disintegration. That’s what. This album is pure, non-diluted, magic. The Cure might actually be my favorite band, I legitimately can’t think of a record of theirs that I completely dislike (Wild Mood Swings is probobly the worst, and even it’s got some good songs), and this album was the absolute pinnacle of their career, for me. They’d brightened up from gloomy stuff for a few records (namely: The Top, Head on the Door, and Kiss Me, all of which I love as well), so it was about time to goth it up again. And goth they did! But it wasn’t just a straight return to the gloomy goth rock of the first few records, this was something fresh and new, but still dark in it’s own way. It incorporated elements of dream pop and new wave into the aforementioned gothic rock style they themselves had pioneered in years past.  What resulted is a record that is, quite simply, dreamlike. The instrumentation just feels like something out of a dream, it’s almost indescribable. I don’t even really know what instruments make half of the sounds on this album, I’m not sure I want to, tangibility might lesson that quality of the music. And not only that, but the lyrics and the music, despite the very overt melancholic tone of the record, have a strange sweetness to them, an almost optimistic undertone underneath all the sadness and the depression. “Bitter-sweet” is probobly the best way I can think to describe the feeling this album teases out for me. It’s the feeling of laughing and crying at the same time, that’s the best I can do to describe how this music makes me feel. Rain is a constant theme on this record it’s referenced both explicitly and implicitly, and I think that’s the best environment to listen to this album in; wait for a heavy rain storm, preferably morning to midday, put the record on in the middle of the storm, and if you’re lucky then just as the last chords of the untitled ending track play you can look out your window, and see the sun shining through the clouds. That is Disintegration, to me.

Honorable mentions!

Pink Floyd - The Wall (loved it as a kid, but it’s so overplayed that I’m sick of it) Gorillaz - Gorillaz/Demon Days/Plastic Beach (way too hard to pick one Gorillaz album)  Morrissey - Your Arsenal (only first heard it recently, possible future top 10) The Smiths - The Queen is Dead (ditto) Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures (haven't had enough time with it) Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile (very very close #11) Siouxie and the Banshees - Juju (probobly even with The Fragile) Chelsea Wolfe - Pain is Beauty (need more time with it) The Birthday Massacre - Violet (#12) Skinny Puppy - Last Rights (probobly even with Violet)

If you’ve read this far then... I don’t know why frankly but thank you for humoring me!

[randobrandoblog-blog]

why we’re here

Every once in an extended while, my time carousel sees me back at one of three chief creative conceits, each of which I have about a jack/master aptitude for – I audition for a show I feel inclined to perform in, bag it on more occasions than not (due more, I’m sure, to savvy selectivity than ineffable brilliance), and get to act my heart out for two or so months. When this particular hunger strikes, I’m a little more discerning than a relative local and total national nonentity is probably entitled to be. I never audition for musicals, and I avoid the sort of stylized comedy whose illumination depends on that tense and tactile physical control for which we treasure so many different performers. This isn’t because I dislike either type; like any sane lover of art, I adore both if well-executed, and typically, if they’re being put on at all beyond high school, the cast and crew come fairly equipped for such stuff. As a sometime self-styled critic, I frequently marvel at strokes of these varieties. As a sometime self-styled actor, however, both are a bit beyond my reach and my preference. As it happens, I share these aversions with the screen performer I hope hardest to emulate whenever I try my hand at his trade. And as for the kinds of parts I do seek, he’s at the forefront of my mind too. My personal gold standard of acting, which I’ve found is seen as somewhat eccentric in regional context, is what I imagine to be most people’s gold standard in a broader context, and when they choose to think about acting at all: an evocation of reality, in all its mess and livewire unpredictability; a cocktail of arrhythmic emotional waves, bursting with responses apt enough to feel like the actor’s own. When it comes to theatre and film (which includes TV today), I regard no achievement greater than a performance in which actor and role become virtually indiscernible. Even if you have no inkling what the actor is like offstage, my ideal form of acting is the sort where you can’t imagine the human in front of you behaving any differently. Absolute, seamless naturalism, pass before you though jarring and unusual emotional extremes may. This impermeable commitment is necessary in your farces and your operas as well. But hyper human vérité is a flavor of performance I prefer the way I do coconut. I believe, too, that even as one mustn’t suggest a comparative denigration of those decidedly non-vérité forms, there is something of a golden mean quality to what I’m detailing. And when Marlon Brando first brought this sort of acting to the screen, history knows the liberation from all of that recycled cinematic convention was seismic. He wasn’t fluke enough to be the genuine first, of course – many people found theretofore-unseen magic ducking around expectations before our eyes, piercing those heavy (or corny) handed-down hands borne from decades of feeling into a fledgling and formerly voiceless medium. Even more than in small doses sometimes; Brando singled out Eleonora Duse and James Cagney, and if you’re a cinephile you’ve got your own few in mind. But Brando broke that barrier as forcefully and undeniably as Chuck Yeager, or Chuck Berry a few art forms over. Not only did he make such acting fashionable, he made it his calling, one which he honored almost slavishly (though he could be thrillingly novel circumventing it). To the historical chauvinism by which he wins this championship title, you can add American chauvinism too; well before obvious signposts like De Sica, overseas filmmakers and their actors proved to possess a firmer finger on these buttons. And of course, being the first famous realist actor on celluloid is speedily dwarfed by thoughts of centuries of stage performers – not to mention those teachers to whom Brando owed his inspiration, from the incomparable Stella Adler on up the line through Stanislavski. (As he himself would hasten to qualify, I refer to more than the often superficially tricksy “method” stuff.) But even today, when he’s been bested performance for performance by so many people, Brando’s strides, his conviction, avidity, fervor and jazz-like instincts, reverberate meaningfully enough to earn perennial gratitude. Even given the stale trappings of his early, mythmaking work, which weakens it a little now, one shudders to imagine the tradition evolving without his effort, ascendency, and influence. Of course, realism wasn’t the only thing on his résumé. As much as a desire to get it right, his inclination to the style was fueled by a desire to resist any encumberment he encountered – not even the result of oppressive genesis (though having two kinds of alcoholic parent, one loving but distant and one present but angry, can’t be a cakewalk) but an innate waggishness from which he drew his joy and energy. The suburbs in which Brando came of age weren’t unpleasant, but they were complacent and artificial, much like the tenor of the times. A youngster bursting with his immeasurable levels of curiosity and passion had only disruption in his fingertips, and having discovered he had no taste for destruction or foolishness, art was perhaps his only available salvation. Acting is the creative medium you throw yourself most literally into, and for an undisciplined, yet physically strong and clearly inspired, individual such as Brando it was a tailor fit, even as he consistently insisted he only did it out of base financial necessity and an absence of any other obvious natural talents. So we can easily conceive of how a lust for truth and an urge to resist merged to instigate his 1950s rise as a paragon of believable acting. But, though he lacked Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis’s finesse for detail when he went for pastures outside those he could summon within the skin he inhabited, Brando loved character work, and when we watch him attempt various accents or hide inside makeup choices, we come with him, witness the other half of his magnetism – he’s fun when he tosses any recognizable self aside, because it allows his madcap streak, his why-not puckishness, to flower untrammeled. Many critics bemoaned how recklessly Brando seemed to be skirting playing the clown, and he wasn’t afraid to be caught not trying. But fopping around in an obvious miss like the Mutiny of the Bounty remake was, however aesthetically wanting, a more valid punk gesture than anything he conveyed (or simulated) in The Wild One. Certainly, he flopped, sometimes hugely. But unlike at least one bazillionaire progeny, he couldn’t bore you if he tried. Despite his claims to eventual mellowness, which he might well have privately enjoyed in his later days, Brando’s notorious pugnacity, or its legend anyway, grew the way his body did. Thirteen years after his death, and considerably longer after his last great work (well – we’ll get to that argument), it’s not hard to recall, even as Johnny Depp faintly, ineptly retraces it, just how badly Brando encrusted himself in his own insistent eccentricity, for so long up to his passing. Forget Pauline Kael’s very early (1966) eulogy to his own control over his volcanic gifts and image. After the twin peaks of The Godfather and Last Tango in Paris (Apocalypse Now is a whole other matter), what was formerly a cute game he concocted to cope with unprecedented fame and admiration rapidly mutated into an onanistic circus of disagreeable quirk. Even in his self-identified “Fuck You Years”, Brando maintained a commitment to a handful of his ideals. After finally unburdening himself of charm, all that remained was that compulsive resistance to any authority. But grotesque as Brando might seem revisiting what he became (and I mean as a human being, even as those final vestiges of sex appeal disappeared under poor health), only the pugnacity and some of the pretensions – odd to imagine how a lack thereof was his first gilded calling card – truly scuff the image. True, he had strange ways of treating and referring to women and Jews. But these two groups would seem to be the only two subject to lapses in his otherwise magnanimous attunement to demographic disadvantages. And he loved and admired both, from his ingrained distance; the only on-record reference to physical abuse against women in his career (besides “shoving” stalkers and unwanted pursuers) is his defending his mother from his father after Marlon Brando Sr. had vented his odious rage. Brando’s Pop seems to have been the only living thing he hated*. From small animals to every race or culture ever to find itself America’s victim, Brando was a tireless and unafraid defender of the sort of underdog he understood he never genuinely was. When a former miracle among mankind tumbles backward into their own freakshow, it tends, especially in this era, to be all we focus on once the last breath leaves the lips – think of his genius pal Michael Jackson, who was a disfigured paranoiac for much longer than he was a smooth, soulful sweetheart, and their mutual friend Elizabeth Taylor, almost unrecognizably boozy and bedraggled for practically as long as she was ravishing and respected. In fact, all three of these troubled icons share something special – an inspiring doggedness in the face of torrents of unmerited mockery, years after the proof of their respective wonders had waned and given way to a thirst for freedom, from an exhausting, inescapable legendary status. Well-compensated as they were, none of these people were allowed normal lives, and all exhibited the brand of toll that only someone of such enormous cultural import can comprehend. In this reflexively polemical age, they deserve a more dignified collective recollection. This blog couldn’t fuel Brando’s third alone – an even less important, less public gesture than the times I’ve stepped on a stage and tried to nail it like he did, and I don’t mean in a James Dean way (those are different strands of I-should-be-so-lucky). When I think of Brando, or when I strive to conjure similar intentions and outcomes, I think of how synoptically this self-proclaimed career liar cared about truth – as much as Hemingway, with a far less coarse course of pursuit. This was a man who steadfastly refused to vitiate his characters with bad dialogue, brainless effects, or lapses in logic. One whose care for the audience, which wasn’t always obvious, entailed a belief that they’d be able to see through any bullshit in any performance, any trace of trying, any betrayal of consistency and slip from integrity. “The actor is the boss”, Adler once declaimed with Olivier bombast, and as a person who knew how corrupt such unbridled power could become, Brando tended to that role with a remarkable, reverential grace. Stuffed as this intro entry is with overtures to encapsulation, all of Brando’s accomplishments, contradictions and unclassifiable quirks can only be adequately explored by way of the plan at hand: to experience and analyze the canon – forty wildly diverse onscreen performances over the span of a half a century – and to invite you to raise the discussion to whatever heights I can’t. Per my catchy (eh?) title, we are refusing to take the straight path through this journey. I figure that’s as apposite a tribute to the old master as anything. *not counting paparazzi

[nofomoartworld]

A CGI Master Made a New Artwork Every Day for 10 Years. Here Are The Results

I'm relatively comfortable with commitment. I've been in a relationship for several years, I still have my email account from high school, etc. But when I realized that Mike Winkelmann, the prolific CGI artist and animator behind some of our favorite Flying Lotus and Brainfeeder videos, was approaching a decade with his everydays series, it blew my mind.

For 10 years he's been posting a new digital illustration ranging from the abstract to representative, sci-fi to surreal, somber to sarcastic. Meanwhile, I barely have a consistent relationship with breakfast, much less making something creative. Today the Appleton, Wisconsin-based artist publishes his 3,650th iteration of the series, which has gone interrupted through sickness and health, music videos and advertising work, and two children.

Here is Beeple 3,650th everydays picture

These days it's a common Instagram or Tumblr challenge to make a new artwork every day for a year or so. In nearly every case, the improvement from the first piece to the 3,650th is palpable. Beeple started his everydays series under the self-deprecating moniker Beeple Crap before it was the meme it is now. After the first year, he just kept going, and still hasn't stopped in 2017.

The overriding rule behind Beeple's video work is diegetic sound: every sound in the track is also visible on the screen. He's also made hundreds of open source VJ loops that inspire unique sets around the world. It's an awesome, if time-consuming process, which has amazing results when combined with the technically brilliant musicians he normally works with. The limitations on his everydays, however, are more abstract, revolving around available software, mental states, and above all else, time.

Nevertheless, he insists it's well-within the reach of any artist: "Just start an everyday," he tells Creators. "It's become more popular on Instagram, but there are always more people who would benefit from doing it. Any time you're putting in the work, it pays off. And if you're worried about commitment, I miss breakfast all the time."

We spoke to Beeple about making art while shitting your pants and becoming a father (not at the same time):

Creators: Did you ever think you would make it to 10 years of everydays?

Beeple: No. I was focused on trying to get better at drawing. I wasn't thinking about an end date. After the momentum of the 2nd year, I realized I could keep doing this for a while. Once you get the momentum, that's what carries you forward.

Some days, you don't have that much ambition. It's like, "I'm fucking tired, I don't want to keep going." The momentum really helps you. You think, "Am I really going to ruin my streak for this?"

How long do you spend on each entry?

From five minutes, if that's all the time I have—like the day my first daughter was born—to a couple of hours.

How did your wife feel about you were making art while that was happening?

My wife was in labor, which isn't as dramatic as they make it seem in the movies. You're not racing, you're just driving to the hospital. So I just said, "I need to do this real quick before we go." There's no way I would have been able to make it this far without the support of my family.

The artwork Beeple made the day his now three-year-old daughter was born.

What still challenges you about everydays after so long?

Challenging myself comes naturally. People are going to see it, so I don't want to make crap.

But "crap" is right there in the name.

Even though it's in the name, I still get tired of doing something similar to what I've done in the past. I push forward to find different styles, different tools. I embrace the tools that are available and appreciate and have fun with new plugins. It's like having a new toy to play with.

How do you know when you're done?

Mostly it's time. I have to go to bed or something. A lot of times there's a sense of defeat. I'm out of time and this was the best I could do?

Do you ever worry about repeating yourself?

I don't focus too much on premeditating things. Even if it might be similar to something I've done before, I just focus on that piece that day. It's too hard to focus on how a piece is within the context of the whole project.

Do any of the pieces from the past 10 years stand out in your memory?

There are certain pieces where I tried a new technique or idea, but mostly my growth is incremental. It doesn't come in huge breakthroughs. There are small discoveries like, "That's what that button does," or, "That's a nice color," rather than giant breakthroughs. But when you get thousands of those, you can see real growth.

Do you have any other rituals? Church? Gym? Tan? Laundry?

I don't, but I wish I did! everydays is the only thing I'm this devoted to, and there are plenty of other things I have trouble committing to. I'm not a unilaterally driven or focused type of person.

Momentum is so important. With most habits, something weird can happen and you lose the momentum. After a certain amount of time, the habit becomes more important than the distractions. "I'm not going to miss today, just because [insert distraction here] happened."

To me the gym is harder. I'm not sure you can do it every day. The thing that makes everydays possible is that it doesn't depend on any outside factors. That's why it's tough to compare to athletic things to aesthetic.

Have you really never skipped a day? No vacation, no hangover, creative block, plain laziness?

I really haven't. I define a day as by midnight, and there are definitely days where I go really down to the wire. Last night I cut it pretty close. The thing is, you don't always have an hour, but you always have five minutes, and you can make something creative in five minutes.

There are numerous times throughout the past 10 years when I've had food poisoning or something, and I'm puking and shitting my ass off. I come over to my computer huddled in blankets, put down some stupid crap I didn't give a shit about, then I post it and I'm done. It only takes a couple of minutes. Those are days when you're completely carried by the momentum of the project.

The other thing is there are certain days you know are going to be weird. Plan in advance. If you going to go out drinking, do your everyday first. You're not going to do it afterward. If you're traveling, wake up early and do the picture, then go through your day.

Do you think you'll ever stop? You did it for 10 years, why not take tomorrow off?

I think it's going to run it's course. I'm surprised I haven't forgotten a day. I feel like I'm still so far from where I want to be. I look at artists in a variety of mediums and think, "Why would I stop now?" Part of it is not looking at it too far down the line, and focusing on short term goals.

Who inspires you when you're working on these?

Lately the Ghost in the Shell VFX work, and GMUNK just did a piece for Lexus that was super awesome. There are so many people doing amazing work in a variety of fields. There's no shortage for me of people to look up to.

Who is your dream collaboration?

Aphex Twin would be awesome. He was extremely influential back when I started everydays. He was one of the first people making songs on his computer by himself in his basement. It was like, "Holy shit. He didn't need a team of people, or permission, or on someone else's schedule!" That was very influential on my work.

What's next for you?

Lately I've been doing some concepting for AR as well as concert visuals, album art. And I'll probably be doing that for a while.

Keep following Beeple on his website or Instagram.

Related:

Beeple's Glowing Virtual Tunnels Give Viewers A 'Warm Neon Birth'

CGI Mastermind Beeple Takes on China—U.S. Cyber Warfare

7 Years and 2,555 Drawings Later, Beeple Looks Back on his 'everydays' Project

from creators http://ift.tt/2ppgIN4 via IFTTT